Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Fail.

This morning was the Equity Principal Audition for "Catch Me if You Can," a new musical based on the film starring Tom Hanks and Leonardo DiCaprio.

I was really happy that my jury duty was only yesterday, because the EPAs are spanning Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and I'm going to have a rehearsal for "Slice of Life" tomorrow. So today was the only day I could have gone on the audition. My friend Jocelyn told me about the audition because she thought I would be really great for the role of the nurse, which Amy Adams played in the movie. I agreed, and I was really excited about the audition.

I went to bed at 9:30 last night. I fell asleep watching "Family Guy," and when my alarm went off this morning at 6am, it wasn't a struggle to get out of bed at all.

But I was sitting there on the edge of my bed, thinking about going to this audition, and I just couldn't do it.

I just started thinking about all the EPAs and Equity Chorus Calls I've been to, and how I never get seen, and I was so far behind. I spent the last two years out of college slacking off, and if I'd actually worked hard, I could BE equity by now.

But rather than put a fire under my ass and get me out of bed, in a dress and off to the audition, this thought made me feel completely hopeless. Like there was absolutely no point in my going to this audition because there was no shot at my being seen. And even if I did get seen, the minute they flipped my resume over and saw the number of roles with "SUNY New Paltz" listed next to them, they wouldn't even pay attention to me.

That is assuming I actually started on the right note for my song, breathed correctly or stayed focused on my objective throughout the entire minute and a half.

I did not go.

I folded inward into the Ball of Suck that I am.

And later I totally regretted it, obviously. Because you can't judge an audition before you actually go. I am a complete moron for letting my insecurities win, and I thought for a long time about just pretending it never happened. I wasn't going to post about it or anything.

But then I realized I have to post about it.

It might not seem like a big deal to skip out on one audition, but it is. The more I just skip out and think, "Meh, it's just one audition, I probably wasn't going to get it anyway," the more time I am wasting. This Michele, is what you have been doing for the past two years, and you know what, IT DIDN'T REALLY WORK FOR YOU.

The "Catch Me if You Can" Equity Chorus Call is on Friday.

GO.

Jury Duty

This past Monday, I had a unique opportunity to witness the American Justice System at work.

I had Jury Duty.

I was actually excited about it. Being no stranger to Equity Chorus Calls, the prospect of getting up at 6am to go sit in a room doing nothing for a few hours seemed like a regular Monday to me, and I had nothing else to do that day, so that aspect didn't really bother me.

I went to Benjamin N. Cardozo High School, which had a specialized Law Program of which I was a member. I took criminal and civil law classes all through my last three years there, and I really loved them. They were easily my favorite subjects. I didn't continue through college because I wanted to concentrate on Theatre, but I've often thought that if I weren't going to be an Actor I would want to be a Lawyer.

So naturally, I was really excited at the prospect of serving on a jury. It was a civil court, too, which had always been my preference. Love those torts.

Best part of Jury Duty by far was the Court Officer, Mike. He was HIGHlarious. Every single thing he said was completely infused by how much he hated his life and every single person in the room in front of him. And I can't blame him, based on the people I was surrounded by. He repeated the instruction, "Unfold your juror information card," three times, and even demonstrated, and there were still about three people who didn't understand what he was talking about.

We filled out the questionaire, handed in our ballots, and then we watched Mrs. Doubtfire.

Then I took a little nap.

Then I chatted with Mike a bit.

Then we had lunch.

Then we watched "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade."

And then we went home. Seriously.

Mike comes into the room with a stack of papers and says, "Okay happy jurors, I have some good news." Pause. "I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico."

Nice.

But the actual good news was that we were all being dismissed. Without even being looked at by no lawyers or nothing. So he's calling out names to come and get our dismissal papers, and he's going alphabetically, and he doesn't call my name.

It occurs to me that maybe not everyone is going home now, and maybe not having your name called meant you were going to be questioned by the lawyers as a potential juror. But the room got emptier and emptier and soon I was the only one left.

Mike looks up at me and goes, "What happened?" with this little smirk on his face.

He had my paper. He wanted to call me last so that he could ask for my phone number.

Most creative way I've ever been hit on, I have to say.

Audition Log: 9/26/09

The Grown-ups Playground

Initially I was really excited about this audition. The times were listed as 3-5 but I was asked to come to the entire two hours as there would be a lot of improv and ensemble stuff happening.

I've heard that auditioners can tell in the first few minutes of the auditions whether it's a yes or a no. I now believe that I can also tell in the first few minutes of the audition whether or not the thing I'm auditioning for is going to be worth the struggle.

The verdict for the Grown-Ups Playground?

No.

Now, being that this is a public blog that could easily end up biting me in the behind if I say too many offensive things about people, I don't want to have to sugar-coat EVERY single thing I put in here.

I arrived to the audition early to find myself standing outside the New York Comedy Club with one other girl who was also auditioning. The building was closed. The gate was down. Thankfully we were only standing out there for a few minutes before someone came to let us in.

If I was holding an audition at 3pm, I might consider arriving at 2:30 since any actor with good manners is going to get there early.

Yes: 0
No: 1

The woman who was auditioning us (Joy) finally did arrive. The first thing we did was get into a circle and play a Name Game, which makes a lot of sense at an ensemble audition. Most of us had already done introductions while we were waiting, but there were people there I didn't know.

Yes: 1
No: 1

The next half an hour was spent trying to play three warm-up ensemble improv games. I say "trying" because halfway through, the door opened and a man with a moustache popped his head in and said "Oh no." Realizing that there was an audition going on, he quickly began to retreat. But Joy saw him, cried in a very loud voice, "Is that Flum?! Come back here you BASTARD!" and then ran out of the room, chased him down the hall and brought him in.

Apparently, this gentleman was a former member of the company who had gone to LA and come back to the see the show that the GUP was doing that night.

This would have been the time for a brief introduction, and for Joy to ask him to come back later, or perhaps for Flum himself to say something like, "Well, I see you're busy auditioning, I'll come back later."

Nope.

What actually ended up happening was this: Flum came in and took a seat. This alone would have been fine. It was an ensemble audition anyway, most of us didn't mind having someone else watching.

Unfortunately, everything we did from then on was interrupted almost every five minutes with Joy and Flum "catching up." Such as, in the middle of a writing exercise, Joy burst out with, "Did you hear Otto's Diner closed?" And thus ensued a ten-minute conversation.

Yes: 1
No: 2

A few more times, Flum decided to interrupt our audition with some catchphrase or reference to an inside joke, and Joy would tell us the story behind the funny phrase or voice, thus wasting even more time.

Yes: 1
No: 3

And then there was the point at which everyone had to stop to sing Happy Birthday to Richard, one of the men auditioning. We also passed around a birthday card to sign for him.

I wrote,

Dear Richard,
This is the weirdest audition I've ever been on.
Happy Birthday

If we do get a callback (based on what, I wonder) we're supposed to hear sometime this week. I haven't decided whether or not I may be attending said callback, should I get one. But the numbers don't lie.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Personal crisis...

So... I got asked to audition for a Shakespeare company on Sunday, but I was working so I had to reschedule for today. The auditions on Sunday were at Ripley Grier, but today they're at the company's homebase. I've just found out that the "homebase" in question is a JCC in Harlem.

I can't figure out if not going to this audition makes me a scared little white girl, or a snob.

The way I see it, this is a repeat of the situation I was in last year when I did "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" in Bay Ridge. A two-hour train ride to rehearse in the basement of a church for no money and too much stress.

And taking the bus through Harlem at night doesn't sound appealing.

Yeah, I don't think I'm going to go.

I'm going to have to make this up to my karma though. Looks like I'm going to have to do some serious Open Call action this upcoming week.

Decided to start my karma repair by registering for one of Jen Rudolph's Green Room workshops. They're these really awesome workshops, of only about 8 students each. They have a different casting director come in every Monday for you to meet and talk to and form a relationship with. She also does Agent Nights every month where you can audition for a bunch of agents at one time. Right now there's a promotion going on to get into an Agent Night for free if you register for the Green Room, so I decided to do it.

Until I got to the website and realized that the Green Room costs 500 freaking dollars.

Maybe next month.

Or year.

Or whatever...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

It is a fact...

I cannot watch "The Color Purple" without crying. Several times.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Rehearsal Log: 9/19/09

Had our first reading for "Slice of Life."

Two of the actors weren't there, but I got to meet the guy playing my love interest, Alex. His name is Patrick and he seems just perfect. He's like a little puppy, I just want to put him in a Sailor Suit and make him sing and dance.

I also got to meet Neil, who is playing the manager of the Pizza Place. I don't have any scenes with him, so if not for this reading I would never have gotten to meet him!

I really don't know a lot about the New York Film Academy, but this film seems to have a pretty serious budget. The last scene takes place in a hospital room, and Louis was talking about BUILDING a room.

Most fun of the day came at the end. My character is a movie star, and there's both a film poster and a newspaper article in the movie that both have pictures of me. The film poster was just a straight-forward smiling close-up, but for the newspaper article Louis wanted to do a paparazzi shot. So I put on my glasses and my big scarf, (luckily I had an improbably huge purse with me) and he stood across the street and took pictures of me hailing a cab and crossing the street.

And even though it looked completely staged and there was really onlt one guy with a camera hounding me, people were still looking at me like, "who is that?"

Monday, September 14, 2009

Success

Apparently the audition for "Slice of Life" went very well, because I got it!

We start shooting in October, and the first meeting with the rest of the cast and crew is this Saturday.

I'm really excited about it! I've been trying to get together enough material to make up a decent Demo Reel, and I think this film is exactly the kind of thing I need. I'm the only girl, I'm the romantic female lead, and it's a good chunk of film. It looks like it has the potential to be something I can really be proud of. I loved the two other short films I'd done for NYFA, but those were both black and white ten-minute films with no dialogue. This is a much bigger project. So I'm excited.

I'm mostly excited to meet the rest of the cast, especially the pizza boy I'm supposed to fall in love with.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

How frightening it is to try...

I guess when you sit around your apartment watching TV, waiting for your big break to come to you, even if you don't say it outright to yourself, in the back of your mind you can justify your lack of accomplishment by the fact that you haven't gone on more than an audition a month for the past two years.

Once you start going, and trying and getting yourself out there, the "Well I'm not really trying" place becomes the, "I must not be good enough" place.

A bit scary.

Not true, obviously. But a bit scary nonetheless.

Not auditioning was a great way for me to escape noticing how bad I am at auditioning. I hope I'm getting better. By January I hope to be confident enough to do one of those seminars where you audition for a bunch of agents at once. It costs money though, which is why I'm not doing it until I know I can rock out.

In the meantime, besides the "You Suck" Bunnies that creep into my consciousness from time to time, I'm feeling good. I think something is about to happen to me. Speaking of which, I received an email a few weeks ago that I forgot to blog about in my Audition fury.

It was from a director/visual artist who is doing a piece on what it costs to be an actor. And not just emotionally, but literally. The focus of his piece is going to be on headshots, cover letters and resumes. Things that actors pay to have printed and spend money sending out to agents who just throw most of them out.

My headshot (probably my old black and white one) has come across his collection and he's going to be including it in the exhibition. It's very exciting to know that I'm going to be a part of this art exhibit! At least if my headshot got thrown away, it's not going to waste!

And he also said he read my blog, which he thought talked about the business in a "totally direct, honest and hopeful way." It was very nice to know that my mom and Jen Whitton aren't the only ones who read this.

His name is David Levine, and the show is going to be at Cabinet Magazine's exhibition space in Brooklyn from October 3rd until October 24th. Here's the link:

David Levine: Hopeful

Hmm...only a month into my 24th year and I'm already one step closer to global fame.

Audition Log: 9/8/09

"Slice of Life" Callback
West Village
4:30pm

I take the train down from work, where I have been answering phones and taking reservations since 8:45am. It's in the 14th St/8th Ave area, of which I have always been a fan, with its charming outdoor cafes and gay couples walking hand in hand.

When I got to their office/apartment there was no answer, but as I was standing at the door, Louis the director came up to me from across the street. He and his partner Thomas were at an outdoor cafe across the street, having coffee and smoking cigarettes.

So french. I loved it.

We did another scene, and then we talked a little about the character. I'm lucky because Lisa is the kind of character I can really relate to, so I had a pretty in depth view on her characterization and junk. I think my reading might have been a little weak. One of the scenes they had me do didn't have any dialogue, and I had a little trouble focusing. Which is odd since reacting is usually one of my stronger points as an actor.

They told me that I would hear from them by the next day (today) and that I was definitely in their top few choices, which was very nice to hear.

All in all I think it was a very positive audition, despite my lack of focus.

Next Audition:
U.S. and U.K. Stiletto Entertainment (Cruise Line!)
Sept 15th and 16th
Chelsea Studios

Monday, September 7, 2009

Audition Log: 9/5/09

NYFA, "Slice of Life"
Shetler Sutdios, 11:30am

I got there early, because I had to work that day. One of my co-workers was covering the first hour or so of my shift for me, so I was hoping I could get seen a little early and get to the restaurant by noon. So I got there at 11:00 and sure enough, I went right into the audition room.

I was very pleasantly surprised to discover that the director was French, which explained the couple of spelling mistakes in the e-mail I received from him. Not too big a deal, but I've found that usually when I get an email with spelling mistakes in it, I end up in a room with some guy who has no idea what he's talking about. But this time it was totally awesome. He seemed to really know what he was talking about, and since I was early, I got to have a nice, leisurely audition. I did my monologue, then read the sides, then did the sides again with an adjustment from the director, and then I got to do my monologue again. It was awesome.

I got a callback, which was either for today or tomorrow, and they sent me the script. I'm going in tomorrow so I have some time to read the script and get familiar with it. It's a really cute script, very Notting Hill. I'm really excited about the callback.

In other audition news, I heard from this other short film. The director/producer told me that the role I'd submitted for was already cast, but he asked me if I thought I was a good fit for the lead, Rosalita. According to him, Rosalita is Latin or Italian, with long black hair and a good figure.

Not the kind of role I usually go for, but I think with some strategically placed double-stick tape and a lot of eyeliner, I could pull it off. I've already got my audition outfit picked out. He's supposed to call me later to set something up.

Now I am off to cook dinner for my family and look over the script for "Slice of Life" one more time.

Onward, ho.

Next Audition:
"Slice of Life" callback
Tomorrow at 4:30pm

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Audition Log: 9/1/09

For "The Trestle at Pope Lick Creek"\
by the Rapscallion Theatre Collective

I arrive at 7:30pm. Audition is next to a tap class. Holy God is it noisy in this hallway. I think this is one of those classes where they don't require tap shoes, and just let the students stomp around in their regular shoes.

Monologue went well . Like my recent discovery that coffee wakes you up in the morning, I am forced to admit that I'm better off doing a monologue that I've worked on before. I did Bug from Cherry Smoke, and I did really well.

They asked me about my schedule, which as it stands now, kind of sucks for their rehearsal schedule. They asked me how flexible it was and I kind of got nervous and choked a bit while trying to explain that my schedule can change. I got a little nervous because I didn't want my schedule to be the deciding factor in whether or not I get a callback.

But really, I want to be an actor, not a hostess. A show would be my priority.

I didn't get a callback, but this marathon of auditioning is making me really competitive. The more I go on, the less of a big deal they seem. That first audition last Monday, i was all, "I'll just do my best, and we'll see what happens." This next one though, I'm gonna be all, "I SHALL DO THE GREATEST JOB I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE!"

And that's exactly what I'm going to do at my...

wait for it...

Next Audition:
"Slice of Life" a NYFA film
Saturday Sept 5, at 11:30am
This is one of my appointment auditions.

And I shall do the greatest job I have ever done in my life.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

In honor of September first...

I have decided it's fall. I am wearing a long-sleeved shirt no matter how hot I get. My summer wardrobe has been completely exhausted. There are only so many permutations you can get out of five tank tops and three pair of shorts.

I miss sweaters and jackets. Of them I have many.

In other news I really want hot wings, but have no cash, and if I'm going to go to the ATM, what's the point of calling the delivery guy?

I'll probably still end up going to the ATM though. It's a lot closer than Ginos.

In other news, my karma seems to have really approved. Funny story, a few weeks ago I realized that one actually has to GO on auditions in order to get jobs. It also helps that we're coming out of the summer season, so things are picking up. There aren't a lot of auditions over the summer because everyone's away doing Summer Stock.

But I went to two open calls Monday and Tuesday, and then got three by appointment auditions. It's starting to look like the more I put into it, the more I get back. Which I guess makes sense.