Audition Log: 9/26/09

The Grown-ups Playground

Initially I was really excited about this audition. The times were listed as 3-5 but I was asked to come to the entire two hours as there would be a lot of improv and ensemble stuff happening.

I've heard that auditioners can tell in the first few minutes of the auditions whether it's a yes or a no. I now believe that I can also tell in the first few minutes of the audition whether or not the thing I'm auditioning for is going to be worth the struggle.

The verdict for the Grown-Ups Playground?

No.

Now, being that this is a public blog that could easily end up biting me in the behind if I say too many offensive things about people, I don't want to have to sugar-coat EVERY single thing I put in here.

I arrived to the audition early to find myself standing outside the New York Comedy Club with one other girl who was also auditioning. The building was closed. The gate was down. Thankfully we were only standing out there for a few minutes before someone came to let us in.

If I was holding an audition at 3pm, I might consider arriving at 2:30 since any actor with good manners is going to get there early.

Yes: 0
No: 1

The woman who was auditioning us (Joy) finally did arrive. The first thing we did was get into a circle and play a Name Game, which makes a lot of sense at an ensemble audition. Most of us had already done introductions while we were waiting, but there were people there I didn't know.

Yes: 1
No: 1

The next half an hour was spent trying to play three warm-up ensemble improv games. I say "trying" because halfway through, the door opened and a man with a moustache popped his head in and said "Oh no." Realizing that there was an audition going on, he quickly began to retreat. But Joy saw him, cried in a very loud voice, "Is that Flum?! Come back here you BASTARD!" and then ran out of the room, chased him down the hall and brought him in.

Apparently, this gentleman was a former member of the company who had gone to LA and come back to the see the show that the GUP was doing that night.

This would have been the time for a brief introduction, and for Joy to ask him to come back later, or perhaps for Flum himself to say something like, "Well, I see you're busy auditioning, I'll come back later."

Nope.

What actually ended up happening was this: Flum came in and took a seat. This alone would have been fine. It was an ensemble audition anyway, most of us didn't mind having someone else watching.

Unfortunately, everything we did from then on was interrupted almost every five minutes with Joy and Flum "catching up." Such as, in the middle of a writing exercise, Joy burst out with, "Did you hear Otto's Diner closed?" And thus ensued a ten-minute conversation.

Yes: 1
No: 2

A few more times, Flum decided to interrupt our audition with some catchphrase or reference to an inside joke, and Joy would tell us the story behind the funny phrase or voice, thus wasting even more time.

Yes: 1
No: 3

And then there was the point at which everyone had to stop to sing Happy Birthday to Richard, one of the men auditioning. We also passed around a birthday card to sign for him.

I wrote,

Dear Richard,
This is the weirdest audition I've ever been on.
Happy Birthday

If we do get a callback (based on what, I wonder) we're supposed to hear sometime this week. I haven't decided whether or not I may be attending said callback, should I get one. But the numbers don't lie.