I guess when you sit around your apartment watching TV, waiting for your big break to come to you, even if you don't say it outright to yourself, in the back of your mind you can justify your lack of accomplishment by the fact that you haven't gone on more than an audition a month for the past two years.
Once you start going, and trying and getting yourself out there, the "Well I'm not really trying" place becomes the, "I must not be good enough" place.
A bit scary.
Not true, obviously. But a bit scary nonetheless.
Not auditioning was a great way for me to escape noticing how bad I am at auditioning. I hope I'm getting better. By January I hope to be confident enough to do one of those seminars where you audition for a bunch of agents at once. It costs money though, which is why I'm not doing it until I know I can rock out.
In the meantime, besides the "You Suck" Bunnies that creep into my consciousness from time to time, I'm feeling good. I think something is about to happen to me. Speaking of which, I received an email a few weeks ago that I forgot to blog about in my Audition fury.
It was from a director/visual artist who is doing a piece on what it costs to be an actor. And not just emotionally, but literally. The focus of his piece is going to be on headshots, cover letters and resumes. Things that actors pay to have printed and spend money sending out to agents who just throw most of them out.
My headshot (probably my old black and white one) has come across his collection and he's going to be including it in the exhibition. It's very exciting to know that I'm going to be a part of this art exhibit! At least if my headshot got thrown away, it's not going to waste!
And he also said he read my blog, which he thought talked about the business in a "totally direct, honest and hopeful way." It was very nice to know that my mom and Jen Whitton aren't the only ones who read this.
His name is David Levine, and the show is going to be at Cabinet Magazine's exhibition space in Brooklyn from October 3rd until October 24th. Here's the link:
David Levine: Hopeful
Hmm...only a month into my 24th year and I'm already one step closer to global fame.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Audition Log: 9/8/09
"Slice of Life" Callback
West Village
4:30pm
I take the train down from work, where I have been answering phones and taking reservations since 8:45am. It's in the 14th St/8th Ave area, of which I have always been a fan, with its charming outdoor cafes and gay couples walking hand in hand.
When I got to their office/apartment there was no answer, but as I was standing at the door, Louis the director came up to me from across the street. He and his partner Thomas were at an outdoor cafe across the street, having coffee and smoking cigarettes.
So french. I loved it.
We did another scene, and then we talked a little about the character. I'm lucky because Lisa is the kind of character I can really relate to, so I had a pretty in depth view on her characterization and junk. I think my reading might have been a little weak. One of the scenes they had me do didn't have any dialogue, and I had a little trouble focusing. Which is odd since reacting is usually one of my stronger points as an actor.
They told me that I would hear from them by the next day (today) and that I was definitely in their top few choices, which was very nice to hear.
All in all I think it was a very positive audition, despite my lack of focus.
Next Audition:
U.S. and U.K. Stiletto Entertainment (Cruise Line!)
Sept 15th and 16th
Chelsea Studios
West Village
4:30pm
I take the train down from work, where I have been answering phones and taking reservations since 8:45am. It's in the 14th St/8th Ave area, of which I have always been a fan, with its charming outdoor cafes and gay couples walking hand in hand.
When I got to their office/apartment there was no answer, but as I was standing at the door, Louis the director came up to me from across the street. He and his partner Thomas were at an outdoor cafe across the street, having coffee and smoking cigarettes.
So french. I loved it.
We did another scene, and then we talked a little about the character. I'm lucky because Lisa is the kind of character I can really relate to, so I had a pretty in depth view on her characterization and junk. I think my reading might have been a little weak. One of the scenes they had me do didn't have any dialogue, and I had a little trouble focusing. Which is odd since reacting is usually one of my stronger points as an actor.
They told me that I would hear from them by the next day (today) and that I was definitely in their top few choices, which was very nice to hear.
All in all I think it was a very positive audition, despite my lack of focus.
Next Audition:
U.S. and U.K. Stiletto Entertainment (Cruise Line!)
Sept 15th and 16th
Chelsea Studios
Monday, September 7, 2009
Audition Log: 9/5/09
NYFA, "Slice of Life"
Shetler Sutdios, 11:30am
I got there early, because I had to work that day. One of my co-workers was covering the first hour or so of my shift for me, so I was hoping I could get seen a little early and get to the restaurant by noon. So I got there at 11:00 and sure enough, I went right into the audition room.
I was very pleasantly surprised to discover that the director was French, which explained the couple of spelling mistakes in the e-mail I received from him. Not too big a deal, but I've found that usually when I get an email with spelling mistakes in it, I end up in a room with some guy who has no idea what he's talking about. But this time it was totally awesome. He seemed to really know what he was talking about, and since I was early, I got to have a nice, leisurely audition. I did my monologue, then read the sides, then did the sides again with an adjustment from the director, and then I got to do my monologue again. It was awesome.
I got a callback, which was either for today or tomorrow, and they sent me the script. I'm going in tomorrow so I have some time to read the script and get familiar with it. It's a really cute script, very Notting Hill. I'm really excited about the callback.
In other audition news, I heard from this other short film. The director/producer told me that the role I'd submitted for was already cast, but he asked me if I thought I was a good fit for the lead, Rosalita. According to him, Rosalita is Latin or Italian, with long black hair and a good figure.
Not the kind of role I usually go for, but I think with some strategically placed double-stick tape and a lot of eyeliner, I could pull it off. I've already got my audition outfit picked out. He's supposed to call me later to set something up.
Now I am off to cook dinner for my family and look over the script for "Slice of Life" one more time.
Onward, ho.
Next Audition:
"Slice of Life" callback
Tomorrow at 4:30pm
Shetler Sutdios, 11:30am
I got there early, because I had to work that day. One of my co-workers was covering the first hour or so of my shift for me, so I was hoping I could get seen a little early and get to the restaurant by noon. So I got there at 11:00 and sure enough, I went right into the audition room.
I was very pleasantly surprised to discover that the director was French, which explained the couple of spelling mistakes in the e-mail I received from him. Not too big a deal, but I've found that usually when I get an email with spelling mistakes in it, I end up in a room with some guy who has no idea what he's talking about. But this time it was totally awesome. He seemed to really know what he was talking about, and since I was early, I got to have a nice, leisurely audition. I did my monologue, then read the sides, then did the sides again with an adjustment from the director, and then I got to do my monologue again. It was awesome.
I got a callback, which was either for today or tomorrow, and they sent me the script. I'm going in tomorrow so I have some time to read the script and get familiar with it. It's a really cute script, very Notting Hill. I'm really excited about the callback.
In other audition news, I heard from this other short film. The director/producer told me that the role I'd submitted for was already cast, but he asked me if I thought I was a good fit for the lead, Rosalita. According to him, Rosalita is Latin or Italian, with long black hair and a good figure.
Not the kind of role I usually go for, but I think with some strategically placed double-stick tape and a lot of eyeliner, I could pull it off. I've already got my audition outfit picked out. He's supposed to call me later to set something up.
Now I am off to cook dinner for my family and look over the script for "Slice of Life" one more time.
Onward, ho.
Next Audition:
"Slice of Life" callback
Tomorrow at 4:30pm
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Audition Log: 9/1/09
For "The Trestle at Pope Lick Creek"\
by the Rapscallion Theatre Collective
I arrive at 7:30pm. Audition is next to a tap class. Holy God is it noisy in this hallway. I think this is one of those classes where they don't require tap shoes, and just let the students stomp around in their regular shoes.
Monologue went well . Like my recent discovery that coffee wakes you up in the morning, I am forced to admit that I'm better off doing a monologue that I've worked on before. I did Bug from Cherry Smoke, and I did really well.
They asked me about my schedule, which as it stands now, kind of sucks for their rehearsal schedule. They asked me how flexible it was and I kind of got nervous and choked a bit while trying to explain that my schedule can change. I got a little nervous because I didn't want my schedule to be the deciding factor in whether or not I get a callback.
But really, I want to be an actor, not a hostess. A show would be my priority.
I didn't get a callback, but this marathon of auditioning is making me really competitive. The more I go on, the less of a big deal they seem. That first audition last Monday, i was all, "I'll just do my best, and we'll see what happens." This next one though, I'm gonna be all, "I SHALL DO THE GREATEST JOB I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE!"
And that's exactly what I'm going to do at my...
wait for it...
Next Audition:
"Slice of Life" a NYFA film
Saturday Sept 5, at 11:30am
This is one of my appointment auditions.
And I shall do the greatest job I have ever done in my life.
by the Rapscallion Theatre Collective
I arrive at 7:30pm. Audition is next to a tap class. Holy God is it noisy in this hallway. I think this is one of those classes where they don't require tap shoes, and just let the students stomp around in their regular shoes.
Monologue went well . Like my recent discovery that coffee wakes you up in the morning, I am forced to admit that I'm better off doing a monologue that I've worked on before. I did Bug from Cherry Smoke, and I did really well.
They asked me about my schedule, which as it stands now, kind of sucks for their rehearsal schedule. They asked me how flexible it was and I kind of got nervous and choked a bit while trying to explain that my schedule can change. I got a little nervous because I didn't want my schedule to be the deciding factor in whether or not I get a callback.
But really, I want to be an actor, not a hostess. A show would be my priority.
I didn't get a callback, but this marathon of auditioning is making me really competitive. The more I go on, the less of a big deal they seem. That first audition last Monday, i was all, "I'll just do my best, and we'll see what happens." This next one though, I'm gonna be all, "I SHALL DO THE GREATEST JOB I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE!"
And that's exactly what I'm going to do at my...
wait for it...
Next Audition:
"Slice of Life" a NYFA film
Saturday Sept 5, at 11:30am
This is one of my appointment auditions.
And I shall do the greatest job I have ever done in my life.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
In honor of September first...
I have decided it's fall. I am wearing a long-sleeved shirt no matter how hot I get. My summer wardrobe has been completely exhausted. There are only so many permutations you can get out of five tank tops and three pair of shorts.
I miss sweaters and jackets. Of them I have many.
In other news I really want hot wings, but have no cash, and if I'm going to go to the ATM, what's the point of calling the delivery guy?
I'll probably still end up going to the ATM though. It's a lot closer than Ginos.
In other news, my karma seems to have really approved. Funny story, a few weeks ago I realized that one actually has to GO on auditions in order to get jobs. It also helps that we're coming out of the summer season, so things are picking up. There aren't a lot of auditions over the summer because everyone's away doing Summer Stock.
But I went to two open calls Monday and Tuesday, and then got three by appointment auditions. It's starting to look like the more I put into it, the more I get back. Which I guess makes sense.
I miss sweaters and jackets. Of them I have many.
In other news I really want hot wings, but have no cash, and if I'm going to go to the ATM, what's the point of calling the delivery guy?
I'll probably still end up going to the ATM though. It's a lot closer than Ginos.
In other news, my karma seems to have really approved. Funny story, a few weeks ago I realized that one actually has to GO on auditions in order to get jobs. It also helps that we're coming out of the summer season, so things are picking up. There aren't a lot of auditions over the summer because everyone's away doing Summer Stock.
But I went to two open calls Monday and Tuesday, and then got three by appointment auditions. It's starting to look like the more I put into it, the more I get back. Which I guess makes sense.
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