My solitaire statistics

Total games played: 475

Total games won: 48

Nice.

So I have the plague. And by the plague I mean bed bugs. And by bed bugs I mean the most annoying shit I have ever experienced in my life. And I didn't have any hobos in my bed or anything (or sleep in any hobo's beds), I just GOT them. Apparently they can just show up. Unless of course, that is just something people say, like saying you probably got pregnant from that toilet seat, and not one of the hundred guys you slept with on Spring Break.

Quite frankly, if I had gotten bed bugs from some hot unwashed guy spending the night in my apartment, that would have been better. Because it would have been at least partially worth it.

But no.

So tonight after I got home from work I had to strip my bed, wash all my linens and pillows, and put these big plastic covers on my mattress and box spring. And my mattress is heavy, man. I can barely lift it.

So now every time I roll over my bed makes a sound like a leather couch. It's almost a fart noise.

Awesome.

Good thing I don't have any downstairs neighbors.

I also totally cleaned under the bed, which I hadn't done at all in the year I've lived in this apartment. And I'm sorry Mom and Dad, but I threw out the fire ladder. I mean, it was awesome in college to know that if my dorm caught on fire, I had a metal ladder that I could unfurl, hang out the window and climb down to freedom, but I probably would have died of smoke inhalation before I got the thing untangled. And now that I live in a ground floor apartment, I think it's time I gave it the old heave ho.

Picnic in Central Park tomorrow. Very excited. Especially since I've only been to Central Park once (unless I went when I was a child, which I might have, but I don't remember--and on a related note, why do people even bother bringing small children places that they're not even going to remember? Anyway...)

I think I'm turning into a very angry person. Every day of my life I seem to get more easily irritated. I should probably take note that this only seems to be the case when I'm at work, which I guess has something to do with it.