Negative Nancy and The Floater

Background work is kind of a thankless job. It's a little different if you're doing it on a professional television show, like when I did Rescue Me, or even the work I did on "Girlhattan" a few weeks ago. When you're surrounded by people who really know what they're doing, and manage their time well, it's definitely an easier experience.

But when you're doing background on a low-budget, non-Union project, you have to expect a certain number of things:

1. If it said it's going to be a 4 to 6 hour shoot, expect a 6 to 8 hour shoot at the very least. Don't make plans.
2. You will be sitting around doing a lot of nothing.
3. They might not feed you.

Yesterday I did work on a non-Union film. We filmed in Greenpoint, Brooklyn and we were supposed to be hipsters. So I tucked my tightest jeans into some boots, threw on a vest and a skinny belt and I was on my way.

And I'm happy to report that they did feed us. There was quite a spread actually. Water, iced tea, soda and Capri Sun. Chips, peanut butter and jelly, Oreos, chips and a hell of a lot of candy. Our call time was 10am, but the director was shooting a couple of scenes with the principal actors first. So we did end up sitting around for a while before we were actually used. A lot of people were getting frustrated.

I wasn't frustrated. It is what it is. There were like 50 extras, and you don't want that many people arriving while you're in the middle of shooting another scene, especially if it's taking longer than expected. So it sucks that we were just sitting there for a while, but whatever. I ran into a former classmate of mine, so she and I hung out.

This is a picture of me and Flannery, looking bored.

And then we had pizza!

Enter Negative Nancy.

When we finally do begin to set up for our scene, they put me at the end of the bar, next to this older guy, and they give us fake drinks (orange juice and water--yum). So I turn to the guy next to me and try to strike up a conversation.

I say, "What's up, man?"
He says, "I don't want to be here. I want to go home. But I figured, you know, I'll come down and help them out, but this is just ridiculous. It's taking forever."

Blink.

Okay, Negative Nancy. I asked him if he knew the people involved in the production. You know, since he said, "I'll come down and help them out." But no. The reason he sees his being there as doing the production a favor was because he's SAG. (In other words, part of the Union--the Screen Actors Guild)

So then he proceeds to go on an on at length about all the perks he's supposed to be getting because he's SAG. He should have been placed nearer to the camera, he should have gotten better food, they were supposed to notify him if they were going to be using smoke.

And you know what? He may be right, the production may not have complied with SAG rules, but it does happen. And that wasn't my problem. My problem was that he

Just.

Kept.

Complaining.

And every time he complained, he rounded it out with, "but I'm not going to complain." Meaning "I'm not going to complain to anyone involved in the production, but you young lady are going to get a damn ear full."

My saving grace came when they switched to a tighter lens and we were no longer visible at the end of the bar, so they moved us. But he was still right next to me! I could not escape. Luckily, I now had a few more people to talk to rather than him.

And this is when I almost killed him. He walks over to the snack table and puts down his prop drink (a fake rum and coke in a glass with ice and a lime) and picks up a plastic cup and a Capri Sun, and walks back into the shot with it. SO UNPROFESSIONAL.

He continues to complain about what time it is, and how long the shoot has taken, and says "I bet we don't even get that I.B.D. thing."

"That I.B.D. thing" refers to the imdb (internet movie database) credit we were supposed to receive for working on the film. So not only are you the most unprofessional Union actor I've ever met, you don't even know the correct name of the biggest film database in creation?

He said, "But I'm not going to complain" one more time and I said, "Really? Because it doesn't seem like you're doing anything else."

I mean really, you're not doing what we were told to do. He kept talking during shots when we were supposed to be pantomiming dialogue because the mics were picking up too much noise. Just leave! If this were my movie, I would rather not have someone than run the risk that they were going to mess up my shots.

And Negative Nancy wasn't the only glaring example of unprofessional behavior on set. There was also:

The Floater:

This man tried everything to be on camera. Though all of us were placed specifically, this guy decided to walk around the room, even coming to stand in front of me when I was clearly in the line of the camera.

He kept hanging around behind the lead actress, looking like the unpopular kid hanging around the cool people at a party, hoping to become part of the conversation.

When this movie is finished, I won't be surprised if you can see him in every single shot.

Listen people, background work sucks in many many ways. Especially in a scene that's so big you know there's no way you'll be able to see yourself. But it's much, much more important to be professional.

At one point, two of the crew members were talking.

Crew Member 1: "Do you have the number of the woman who coordinated all the background people?"
Crew Member 2: "Yeah, why?"
Crew Member 1: "There's one guy here. He's never coming back to set again."

I can only hope they were talking about either Negative Nancy or The Floater. But they sure as Hell weren't talking about me.