Do yourself a favor...

The next time you're on Pandora, type in "Sunny Came Home" by Shawn Colvin. Almost every song that comes up on this station is guaranteed to make you go "Oh YEAH!" and regress to sitting in your room flipping through your CD collection while putting off doing your Social Studies homework. Some favorites so far have been "Sex and Candy," "She's So High," "Story of a Girl," "One Headlight" and "The Way" by Fastball (you know this one, trust me).

It's doing its job right now, which is to distract me from what I believe to be a rejection from a headshot photographer.

What happened:
I went to a wonderful workshop recently with a Commercial casting director who gave me some wonderful feedback. Among that feedback was the fact that I need new headshots.

For one thing, my hair is much different. It's about twice as long and I think I'm going to keep the length in hopes of doing a sexy, Sophia Vergara kind of thing. But also I only have one shot, and she asked me, "Is this your commercial or legit headshot?"

I believe my exact reply was, "Huggghhhn."

SO I've decided that this time around, I'm going to get at least five different pictures to be mixed and matched according to the role I'm submitting for, and lucky for me, she recommended a photographer.

I reached out, and we started talking about when we could shoot. He wanted to go right away, but I wanted a little more time. For one thing, I need a hair cut. Right now it's looking less like Sophia Vergara and more like I haven't had a spare $30 to get a trim in the last year and a half. For another thing, though I was getting a HUGE discount due to my referral I still needed about a week to pick up the dinner shifts at The Restaurant that would give me the available funds.

SIDE NOTE: Jewel's "Foolish Games" just game on. This Pandora station is like a Highlander flashback.

So though he suggested that we shoot Monday, I sent him back an email saying, "This Monday is actually not good for me." Which was very true, since I had tickets to go see an Andrew Bird concert in Poughkeepsie with Best Friend Cate. "How does next Monday work for you?"

He'd suggested Monday on Thursday the 13th. I sent my response on Friday the 14th. I didn't receive a reply until that Monday the 17th, which was the day he'd wanted to shoot:


And that was it.

So, I sent one more reply, starting with the phrase, "Ha ha," as if the snarkiness was all in good fun, and offered a few more days that would work for me and thanking him for his patience with my scheduling issues, but I have heard nothing from him since.

Now, in response to the headshot drama, I've found a new photographer who is fabulous and much more patient. As soon as I shoot with her I'll post links to her stuff and our photos. Also she's much cheaper so suck it "professional" photographer who shall not be named.

Now, I haven't posted any names but I still had a lot of trouble deciding whether or not to post this entry. I'm hesitant to defame or "call someone out" on this blog. But let me just say, almost everyone now has a blog or a Twitter or a LinkedIn profile or what have you. Not all of us are lucky enough to have an assistant editor of the New York Times who was once quoted using a homophobic slur to camouflage them in a Google search (thanks Michele McNally!)
So my feeling is, Don't Be a Dick. Because if you are, chances are someone is going to blog about it. And next time they might not be nice enough to not use your name.

Some photos from the second Urban Dictionary shoot...

Most of you probably recall the wildly popular "L-Bomb" video that's taken the internet by storm. (I think it's got like a 99% on Funny or Die, that's got to count for something.)

Well if you do, then you'll be glad to know that Pete and Josh are doing yet another humorous example of Urban Slang (and they're taking me and Gary along for the ride!)

Next up: Premature Evacuation, and if you don't know what that means, don't fret, there will soon be a video to explain it to you! The shoot was loads of fun, and counts officially as my first on-camera sex scene. Thank God it was funny, because that cut extremely into the awkwardness.



Although I've got to say the best part about filming a sex scene is that you basically get to nap in between shots. In fact here is a photo of Gary doing just that, while I text The Boyfriend, because how often do you get to text your boyfriend while in bed with another man and have it NOT be skanky?




Other exotic locations for this shoot include an air mattress in Josh's office, but the most fun was the day we did the club scene, and Gary and I got down with a bunch of extras and drank flat soda to the sounds of Pandora Radio's "Techno" station.


Everyone who helped out for the whole shoot got actual free drinks at the end, but it was worth it just to see Gary wearing that shirt...



Video coming soon! And it's going to be a good one!

Back to the Grind

The completely insane, arduous task of being in two Manhattan Rep One Acts at the same time has finally come to an end.

Sorry I couldn't squeeze out at least one blog entry during production, but honestly, you're lucky I left the house wearing pants every day during the month of September.

To be honest, drama aside, it actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I didn't get to sleep past 9am AT ALL all month (I am not used to this), and I was running around the city with a big giant bag full or crap (be it props, costumes or clothing so I could stay at The Boyfriend's house) almost every day, and by the end I forgot what Best Friend Jen's face looked like, but I managed to keep my sanity. I'm proud to report that I made rent with no problem, thanks mainly to the fact that I picked up double shifts wherever I could. (Thanks Christine!)

Favorite day: Thursday September 22nd

• Lunch shift at The Restaurant from 10am to 5pm.
  
• Straight to Manhattan Rep (42nd and 8th) for the 6:30 performance of The Mechanicals
• 8:30pm: After the show, we go to a bar for a celebratory toast. I order a shot of Southern Comfort, toast to the production, suck it down, throw down cash and then run to the Subway
• Rehearsal for Dust in the Wind on 96th and Lex until 11pm.
• 45 minute train ride home to Queens
  
• Work in the morning. 10am
  

I am a Golden God.

From an email from the director of the Manhattan Repertory Theatre

Both shows were so much fun, though very different. I loved "The Mechanicals" because it was light-hearted and silly, and didn't take itself too seriously. And I loved "Dust in the Wind" because it was dramatic and arresting (I got to choke to death at the end--very cool)

In the end, "The Mechanicals" made it to the final round. There were four shows in the finals. Each show is in a performance series of about four or five One-Acts, and audience members assign them a rating from 1 to 5, 1 being bad, and 5 being the best. For the finals, the four shows with the highest numbered scores were chosen. Of the three other shows chosen for the finals, two had been in the same performance series as "The Mechanicals" and the third had been in the same performance series as "Dust in the Wind." So I knew everyone in the finals.

This was how I knew it was going to be fun.

We didn't win, but the whole night was so much fun anyway. At the end, Manhattan Rep had wine and champagne for us, and we had a little party.

And a bunch of us ended up going to Koreatown and renting a private karaoke room, complete with buckets of beer and a complimentary bottle of champagne.

Keep in mind for the future: If some bar ever gives you a complimentary bottle of champagne, you've ALREADY spent too much money.

Side note: My singing voice is either much better when I'm drunk, or I just THINK it is.

And NOW back to the grindstone. Next up on the agenda are a haircut and new headshots, so much of October is going to be spent making money and saving said money. But in the meantime I have about five or six hard copies of my current headshot left, so look for at least five or six more auditions in the near future!

To the castle!!

This Might Kill Me

It's official.

I've been cast in two of the shows in the Manhattan Rep One-Act Competition.

For a brief moment I considered doing both, and how frigging badass it would be if the rehearsal schedules worked out in such a way that I could do BOTH shows. I had this vision of me as this Super Actress, doing two shows at the same time, like Cynthia Nixon.

And then, inevitably, reality descended and I realized that I live in the real world. I have a job. I wait tables. And juggling ONE show with waiting tables is hard enough.

First of all, hurricane Irene closed The Restaurant for the first time in...all time, and I got screwed out of my two most lucrative shifts. So as of August 30th, the week I was doing these auditions, I was already a week behind in my rent. I would have to pick up some extra shifts just to avoid bouncing a check.

In order to do both these shows, I would have to give up half of my shifts. And "give up" is a misleading term, since they were all lunch shifts. Less money, and you have to get up early. Sometimes you have to bribe people to take them. That would leave me with only Saturday and Sunday to work, and the only day I would be able to pick up would be Monday. And Monday was not a very good day when it comes to money.

And then the other reality hit me.

I hadn't been in a show since "Work: A Play," which had been months ago.

The landlord to whom I owed rent is my father, and though he's always taken a very firm stance with me on my choice to live in poverty, would never throw me out on the street.

And finally, and most importantly...

I did not go to school to be a waitress.

I did not bust my ass for four years, and then another four out on the streets of Manhattan to smile at your dumb jokes and scurry off for another basket of bread that you're not going to eat, since you've ordered way too much food anyway. I'm not working for $5 an hour plus tips, refilling your Shirley Temple because I'm passionate about assisting people on their path to diabetic shock.

By my sweet Lord in Heaven, I am DOING THIS.

I'm doing BOTH shows. I'm working three days a week, and a double on Mondays if I can find someone to give me their Monday dinner. I'm stealing food from work, drinking water instead of buying iced tea, and sometimes I'm rehearsing for both shows in one day.

The day after my last performance of "The Mechanicals," I have to be back at the theater for the tech rehearsal of "Dust in the Wind." (And if you don't remember what a hassle tech rehearsals are, check out my entry on the tech for Work: A Play)

Today I worked a lunch shift. I needed what little money it was, and Thursday lunches are usually $100-$120 at The Restaurant. I was supposed to be at rehearsal for "The Mechanicals," but I couldn't find anyone willing to cover the shift. It was okay though, I couldn't work again until Saturday, so I could really use the $100.

But this week school starts again. No one is on vacation, and it was EXTREMELY slow. We ended up making only about $60. I came home almost in tears. I was really counting on that $100 to be able to pay my VISA bill next week.

And just when I thought this might have been a bad idea, I checked my mail, and there was the check for my background work for Girlhattan.

40 bucks for work done months ago. Bringing today's earnings to $100.

Sometimes...just sometimes, I get the feeling that someone is watching out for me.

When you got nothin', you got nothin' to lose.

Two days after the last audition I wrote about, "Dust in the Wind," I had another audition for a fun play called, "The Mechanicals," about a group of high school students putting on a production of Midsummer Night's Dream. The director had sent me sides and it looked really funny.

Then, the evening before the audition, I got a phone call from Dorit, the writer and director of "Dust in the Wind."

I got the role!

I haven't done a show since "Work: a Play," so I was really, really excited. But I was bummed that I wouldn't get to go to the "Mechanicals" audition, so I emailed the director and explained the situation, and told him when the show would be performing. I figured even if I was no longer available, I might still be able to audition, maybe they'd like me and keep me in mind for other things. He told me to come in anyway.

I got there early, was the first one there, and had the good fortune to run into the director and the audition monitors while they were setting up, so I got to introduce myself. I sat outside the room while two other people came in for their audition slots, which were before mine, and I read over the scene.

I was reading for the girl who got cast as Hermia, checking the posted list with her best friend, who didn't get into the show, and the fight that ensued. Towards the end of the fight she's supposed to look at the list to find the name of the girl playing Helena. The stage direction was "quickly glances at the board."

But as I was standing outside the room, about to go in, I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be funny if I couldn't find her name right away, and the fight comes to a screeching halt while I'm looking for it?"

It was risky. I would be going against a specific stage direction (the director was also the writer) and I would be bringing the momentum of the fight (which would have been building the entire time) to a complete halt. It would either be hilarious, or completely ruin my audition.

But then I realized that chances are, I can't even do this show in the first place because of the one I'm already doing. So what's the use of playing it safe if I'm not trying my best to get them to like me? I'm just going to do something funny. So I decided to stick with the pause until SOMEONE laughed.

I got into the room and I could tell my read was going well. They were chuckling at all the right places. Then I got to the pause (right before my last line) and instead of glancing at the board, I turned to the front of the room and stared blankly, moving my eyes from left to right as if reading very quickly, all to COMPLETE silence.

The briefest of "uh-ohs" entered my mind until finally, someone laughed.

Then I turned back to my scene partner and said the last line, but was completely drowned out by laughter.

I had a brief conversation with the director after my read in which we discussed my conflicts and availability. He was concerned because one of the performances for "Dust in the Wind" was the same day as one of the performances for "The Mechanicals." I explained that "Dust in the Wind" was part of the Manhattan Repertory Fall One-Act Play Competition. So the conflicting performance would only happen if the show got to the final round of the contest.

As soon as I said it was part of the Manhattan Rep Contest, he looked at me and said, "So is this."

We started talking about specific dates, and rehearsal times, and work schedules.

He sent me on my way and told me I'd know for sure by Sunday. I walked out onto the street and started laughing, pretty sure I'd just been cast in two shows at the same time.