Actor With a Business Card

Musical Mission Step Two: Have a good audition

2012-01-25T12:04:00.000-08:00

Going to a buttload of Equity Chorus Calls mean nothing if you never get into the room. Though I suppose it's a nice change from waking up at 1pm because your cat is hungry.

Monday I actually had a by-appointment audition for a musical. As in a, "we've seen your resume and we have already decided not to kick you out," kind of situation. So though my "Musical Mission" (good God I'm clever) is 24 days in, Monday was the first time I have actually been able to sing with a piano player.

By-appointment auditions continue to make me laugh. You travel for an hour on the subway, and then you're in and you're out in less than 15 minutes. It's like I was picking up my dry cleaning or something. I really showed up, dropped my stuff in the hallway, filled out the audition form, read through the sides twice, and then the monitor asked me, "are you ready?"

I sang "Stars and the Moon" from Songs for a New World, because I know it really well, I've done it a bunch before and I thought it was a smart idea since I'm out of practice, and I kind of have a cold. In the end I had trouble staying on tempo with the accompanist (Jason Robert Brown music is needlessly complicated) but I just went for it. I figured she'd catch up to me.

The director looked at my resume and said, "You haven't done any musicals? You've got a great voice."

The experience left me feeling good.

Musical Mission Step One: Go see a show

2012-01-23T11:37:00.000-08:00

January is almost over so I bet you're all wondering if I've taken any steps yet in my New Year's Resolution to get back into musicals.

And nothing makes me more excited and inspired, and simultaneously miserable that it's not me on that stage, it's seeing a Broadway show. Especially a Broadway show I've always wanted to see.

The Boyfriend bought us orchestra seats to Wicked. ORCHESTRA seats. I could have been spit on. Best Friend Jen and I used to play the soundtrack nonstop in our dorm room sophomore year, but I haven't actually listened to it in a while. Seeing the show just brought back all the memories of how I used to listen to the CD, fantasizing about playing Elphaba on Broadway.

I saw Jackie Burns in the role, and she killed it. She was better than Idina Menzel, in my opinion. Especially singing No Good Deed, which has always been my favorite song in the show.

The experience did exactly what I'd hoped it would do. It re-lit the fire under my ass. I was so excited to be seeing a Broadway show again that I actually burst into tears during the opening number.

ONWARD!

First steps towards my New Year's Resolution...

2012-01-05T10:11:00.000-08:00

Internet, bear witness to this.

On Tuesday January 10th there is a Musical Theatre Audition Seminar with Telsey and Co. I've already registered and I'm going.

The EPA for Legally Blonde is that day at noon.

I'm going to both of them, I don't care how sleepy I am when I get up on Tuesday morning. I publish it on the internet for all to see. If I don't go, hurl tomatoes and other rotten fruit at me via email or tweet.

On Thursday January 12th there is an EPA for Jesus Christ Superstar, which I could theoretically go to before work. I don't have to be at The Restaurant until 3:30. Plenty of time to get typed out beforehand.

I'm going to it.

And the best part is an audition for another musical coming up on Monday January 23rd, which is by-appointment-only. Definitely going to that, I don't think I need the threat of being pelted by virtual fruits and vegetables to give me motivation.

So I've got all the auditions waiting for me, I've just got to get over the pesky fact that I haven't sung with a live piano player in over a year, and I lost my voice on New Year's Eve screaming off a roof in Astoria.

Minor problems.

The New Year's Resolution Blog Entry.

2012-01-01T11:24:00.000-08:00

There was no musical theatre program at my college. That isn't to say that there were no musical theatre-themed classes at SUNY New Paltz. There were several, and I took them all. There was just no Musical Theatre concentration as far as majors go.

While I was there I took Voice for Theatre (One and Two--I took Two twice), Musical Theatre Workshop and Musical Theatre Singing Ensemble (which was this awesome choral class where we did all the big group numbers.)

All the classes focused on acting the song, and not so much on technique. This is a clip from my senior year final, when I did Sally Bowles from Cabaret.

My freshman year a friend of mine named Roxie was taking Musical Theatre Workshop. Her assignment was to hop the train down to the city one day and go to an actual audition. Best Friend Jen and I decided to go with her. We thought it would be fun.

It was an open call for Ragtime, and Jen was a big fan. We had no headshots, and so we printed our best available Facebook profile pictures onto 8 1/2 by 11 paper and slapped together resumes with High School credits on them.

The audition was at Ripley Grier, and in the grand tradition of Open Calls, we were two out of 700 hundred girls and young women, all of whom looked a lot like us. We were there all day, and we didn't get to sing. Instead we were typed out.

But it's our first audition. We are tourists in Times Square, too mesmerized by the flashy billboards and neon lights to notice that it's crowded, nobody seems to know how to walk and it kind of smells funny.

We did one musical a year at SUNY New Paltz, usually the first production of the fall semester. My freshman year auditions were the first week of classes, I really didn't know what I was doing. Sophomore year I made it to the final four girls called back to play Dot in "Sunday in the Park with George." Junior year I got Reno in "Anything Goes," and senior year I played Penny in "Urinetown."

I have a good voice, though I've never been trained, and by the time I left school I was confident that I could hold my own in a musical theatre audition. But after a few years it seemed like I was going to that Ragtime audition over and over again. Sitting in a waiting room among 700 hundred more qualified girls, with a mediocre headshot and not enough musicals on my resume.

I couldn't afford the voice lessons, and what good did they do when I just got typed out every time I got in the room? So I stopped. I was booking film work, and comedy, so I thought that might be enough.

But recently I went to go see a show that got me thinking again. An entertainer a greatly admire just released an album, the contents of which are new arrangements of old musical theatre standards. Little-known Sinatra and Sound of Music stuff, and at the end of the show I got to meet the composer who'd done all the arrangements. The whole thing got me thinking about musical theatre and how much I miss it, and I've decided that this would be my New Year's Resolution.

I am going to book a musical by next year. Maybe not Broadway, but here's hoping. And in reaching for that goal, I'm going to see about voice lessons, and dance classes. I'm really going to try to turn myself back into a musical theatre performer, hopefully minus the pretentiousness.

Game on.

New Headshots!

2011-12-26T11:23:00.001-08:00

I've been waiting until the craziness of the holidays to be over before posting my new headshots for all to see.

After my unfortunate encounter with the Bitchy Headshot Photographer Who Shall Not Be Named, I told the story to one of my colleagues at The Restaurant, and he recommended the very talented Keri Shean.

Keri is a student at the Fashion Institute of Technology, and she'd taken some photos for him and his band. She and I exchanged a couple of messages via Facebook and quickly set up a time and place to meet.

She was great to work with. She really listened to what I wanted the shots to look like, and jumped in with her own suggestions. She was the one who suggested we shoot on the Highline, the above ground railroad tracks that now serves as a park.

We ended up having to push our shoot back a week. It was beautiful weather up until the day we were supposed to meet, and then it was pouring. So we met on the same day next week, only to find the skies frighteningly overcast.

We were only able to shoot for twenty minutes before the rain started. I tore through blouse changes like a house on fire. (I was wearing a flesh-colored tank top underneath everything, but I still got a few uncomfortable stares).

She promised we could meet again if I didn't get what I was looking for, but when she gave me the CD a few days later, I was impressed at how much we got. I ended up choosing all my shots from the pictures we took in those first twenty minutes.

Here they are, still sans-Photoshop to take away the Fiona Apple-esque bags under my eyes. The McNally Eyes, my father calls them.

I think they are a nice assortment of McNallys. Counting the one at the top, I have six altogether, so I can choose which one I think best fits the casting I'm submitting for. That's almost a McNally for every day of the week. Monday through Saturday, and then for Sundays, I can use this one:

Smartphones are making us dumb...

2011-12-13T20:44:00.000-08:00

On my way to the audition at 20 Jay Street, I realized a little too late that my iPhone had given me the wrong directions, prompting me to get off the F train at Jay Street-Metrotech and walk fifteen minutes back towards Manhattan. If the people at Apple really wanted to make the Apple update appealing, they would have made Siri a 56 year old New Yorker who knows the quickest way to get anywhere, when taking the bus just isn't an option.

Once my GPS confirmed that I was going the right way, I put the phone back in my pocket and began the walk back up to DUMBO, occasionally checking the map on my phone as the uber-hipster landscape began to unfold before me. Then, as I passed Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass, I came to 20 Jay Street.

Now, I had read the email several times. I knew that this was the address. But since I got my iPhone, I have gotten into the habit of glancing at emails, websites, maps and messages without actually absorbing any information, knowing that I can just look it up. Someone will invite me out to a restaurant and I don't even look up what neighborhood it's in until I'm already on the train.

So though in my heart I knew that this was the right building, I still felt the need to check my map and confirm. The phone caught on the edge of my pocket and I felt the tell-tale yank on my headphones that signifies, "you are about to drop your very expensive phone."

Not to worry, I bought a cushion-y case to shield Tim the iPhone from my frequent dropping.

Then, I watched in horror as Tim the iPhone skidded across the cobblestones, and landed with a PLOP in the middle of the only puddle on Water Street. (The irony occurred to me only after I'd finished crying hysterically.) At least three people witnessed its demise, and all three of them stopped to offer their sympathies. New Yorkers might be callous and hard about most things, but I guess some pain in universal.

But one young man went above and beyond. He was walking behind me when it happened, and rushed to my side immediately. As I stood, completely shell-shocked, trying to wipe the phone off on my sleeve, he took me step-by-step through exactly what I needed to do to save my phone.

Turn it off immediately. DO NOT turn it back on.
Get some uncooked rice, and put the phone in it. The rice will absorb all the moisture.

"Don't lose hope," he said, "it might be okay."

And then he was gone. He's pretty much responsible for the successful recovery of Tim the iPhone (spoiler alert--he's as good as new). Wish I could thank him, but I don't know who he is.

Now, I've heard of the rice thing before, but I was so completely shocked that I never would have thought of it. So I raced into the nearest Organic Produce and Grass-Fed Meat store, bought a $5 bag of rice (thanks hipsters) and stuck my phone in it. I tied it up in the recycled plastic bag and buried it deep in my purse along with my feelings.

And then I was alone on the street. I didn't know what time it was, nor what floor of the building the audition was on. I couldn't call to ask, and the building's fancy touch-screen directory yielded nothing. I couldn't call my Mom and cry to her, and I didn't know where the York Street subway stop was. And Oh my God what if something happens to me and I can't call 911? Immediately I felt like a target for muggers and murderers (at noon on a Tuesday) as if there was a big sign above my head that read, "Can Only Call For Help Vocally."

And then I remembered: The world has existed without cell phones. When people actually had to make plans ahead of time, pick a place to meet and actually be there on time. When we didn't call each other from across the mall to say, "I'm by Maternity. I see you, turn to your left and walk straight." We used our voices and waved our arms, remember?

Furthermore, I remember the world without smartphones, when people actually had to retain information, like where subway stops were. And if you were watching TV and saw an actor you knew from some other movie, you couldn't just pull out your pocket-sized computer and gain access to a whole list of everything they've ever done. You had to remember or it would bug the crap out of you.

I checked that email four times and I still didn't trust that I knew the address.

Is this what I've become? Someone who can't remember a brunch date without a little reminder that pops up while I'm playing DoodleJump? Have a really lived in New York my entire life and still don't know how to find the freaking F train?

I found the York Street subway stop on my own, went back to Midtown, crashed The Boyfriend's office and threw myself into his arms. Then, with an hour and a half until I had to be at work, and no way of knowing when that hour and a half would be up, I went to Starbucks ordered a Grande Bold and I realized:

I need a fucking watch.

Urban Dictionary Number Three

2011-12-06T13:04:00.000-08:00

Never let it be said that Pete and Josh don't know how to seize an opportunity.

The annual Doritos "Crash the SuperBowl" contest has come around, and they decided to make an Urban Dictionary-themed entry.

The term is Dorit-O-Face, and if you'd like to know what it means... see for yourself:

DORIT-O-FACE 002 from josh apter on Vimeo.

Halloween 2011

2011-11-02T17:45:00.001-07:00

If this whole acting thing doesn't work out, maybe I have a future in costume construction.

This is me as Dani from HBO's Game of Thrones.

And this is The Boyfriend as Ser Jorah Mormont.

Do yourself a favor...

2011-10-30T18:21:00.001-07:00

The next time you're on Pandora, type in "Sunny Came Home" by Shawn Colvin. Almost every song that comes up on this station is guaranteed to make you go "Oh YEAH!" and regress to sitting in your room flipping through your CD collection while putting off doing your Social Studies homework. Some favorites so far have been "Sex and Candy," "She's So High," "Story of a Girl," "One Headlight" and "The Way" by Fastball (you know this one, trust me).

It's doing its job right now, which is to distract me from what I believe to be a rejection from a headshot photographer.

What happened:
I went to a wonderful workshop recently with a Commercial casting director who gave me some wonderful feedback. Among that feedback was the fact that I need new headshots.

For one thing, my hair is much different. It's about twice as long and I think I'm going to keep the length in hopes of doing a sexy, Sophia Vergara kind of thing. But also I only have one shot, and she asked me, "Is this your commercial or legit headshot?"

I believe my exact reply was, "Huggghhhn."

SO I've decided that this time around, I'm going to get at least five different pictures to be mixed and matched according to the role I'm submitting for, and lucky for me, she recommended a photographer.

I reached out, and we started talking about when we could shoot. He wanted to go right away, but I wanted a little more time. For one thing, I need a hair cut. Right now it's looking less like Sophia Vergara and more like I haven't had a spare $30 to get a trim in the last year and a half. For another thing, though I was getting a HUGE discount due to my referral I still needed about a week to pick up the dinner shifts at The Restaurant that would give me the available funds.

SIDE NOTE: Jewel's "Foolish Games" just game on. This Pandora station is like a Highlander flashback.

So though he suggested that we shoot Monday, I sent him back an email saying, "This Monday is actually not good for me." Which was very true, since I had tickets to go see an Andrew Bird concert in Poughkeepsie with Best Friend Cate. "How does next Monday work for you?"

He'd suggested Monday on Thursday the 13th. I sent my response on Friday the 14th. I didn't receive a reply until that Monday the 17th, which was the day he'd wanted to shoot:

And that was it.

So, I sent one more reply, starting with the phrase, "Ha ha," as if the snarkiness was all in good fun, and offered a few more days that would work for me and thanking him for his patience with my scheduling issues, but I have heard nothing from him since.

Now, in response to the headshot drama, I've found a new photographer who is fabulous and much more patient. As soon as I shoot with her I'll post links to her stuff and our photos. Also she's much cheaper so suck it "professional" photographer who shall not be named.

Now, I haven't posted any names but I still had a lot of trouble deciding whether or not to post this entry. I'm hesitant to defame or "call someone out" on this blog. But let me just say, almost everyone now has a blog or a Twitter or a LinkedIn profile or what have you. Not all of us are lucky enough to have an assistant editor of the New York Times who was once quoted using a homophobic slur to camouflage them in a Google search (thanks Michele McNally!)
So my feeling is, Don't Be a Dick. Because if you are, chances are someone is going to blog about it. And next time they might not be nice enough to not use your name.

Some photos from the second Urban Dictionary shoot...

2011-10-13T18:44:00.000-07:00

Most of you probably recall the wildly popular "L-Bomb" video that's taken the internet by storm. (I think it's got like a 99% on Funny or Die, that's got to count for something.)

Well if you do, then you'll be glad to know that Pete and Josh are doing yet another humorous example of Urban Slang (and they're taking me and Gary along for the ride!)

Next up: Premature Evacuation, and if you don't know what that means, don't fret, there will soon be a video to explain it to you! The shoot was loads of fun, and counts officially as my first on-camera sex scene. Thank God it was funny, because that cut extremely into the awkwardness.

Although I've got to say the best part about filming a sex scene is that you basically get to nap in between shots. In fact here is a photo of Gary doing just that, while I text The Boyfriend, because how often do you get to text your boyfriend while in bed with another man and have it NOT be skanky?

Other exotic locations for this shoot include an air mattress in Josh's office, but the most fun was the day we did the club scene, and Gary and I got down with a bunch of extras and drank flat soda to the sounds of Pandora Radio's "Techno" station.

Everyone who helped out for the whole shoot got actual free drinks at the end, but it was worth it just to see Gary wearing that shirt...

Video coming soon! And it's going to be a good one!

Back to the Grind

2011-10-08T18:14:00.000-07:00

The completely insane, arduous task of being in two Manhattan Rep One Acts at the same time has finally come to an end.

Sorry I couldn't squeeze out at least one blog entry during production, but honestly, you're lucky I left the house wearing pants every day during the month of September.

To be honest, drama aside, it actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I didn't get to sleep past 9am AT ALL all month (I am not used to this), and I was running around the city with a big giant bag full or crap (be it props, costumes or clothing so I could stay at The Boyfriend's house) almost every day, and by the end I forgot what Best Friend Jen's face looked like, but I managed to keep my sanity. I'm proud to report that I made rent with no problem, thanks mainly to the fact that I picked up double shifts wherever I could. (Thanks Christine!)

Favorite day: Thursday September 22nd

Lunch shift at The Restaurant from 10am to 5pm.
Straight to Manhattan Rep (42nd and 8th) for the 6:30 performance of The Mechanicals
8:30pm: After the show, we go to a bar for a celebratory toast. I order a shot of Southern Comfort, toast to the production, suck it down, throw down cash and then run to the Subway
Rehearsal for Dust in the Wind on 96th and Lex until 11pm.
45 minute train ride home to Queens
Work in the morning. 10am

I am a Golden God.

From an email from the director of the Manhattan Repertory Theatre

Both shows were so much fun, though very different. I loved "The Mechanicals" because it was light-hearted and silly, and didn't take itself too seriously. And I loved "Dust in the Wind" because it was dramatic and arresting (I got to choke to death at the end--very cool)

In the end, "The Mechanicals" made it to the final round. There were four shows in the finals. Each show is in a performance series of about four or five One-Acts, and audience members assign them a rating from 1 to 5, 1 being bad, and 5 being the best. For the finals, the four shows with the highest numbered scores were chosen. Of the three other shows chosen for the finals, two had been in the same performance series as "The Mechanicals" and the third had been in the same performance series as "Dust in the Wind." So I knew everyone in the finals.

This was how I knew it was going to be fun.

We didn't win, but the whole night was so much fun anyway. At the end, Manhattan Rep had wine and champagne for us, and we had a little party.

And a bunch of us ended up going to Koreatown and renting a private karaoke room, complete with buckets of beer and a complimentary bottle of champagne.

Keep in mind for the future: If some bar ever gives you a complimentary bottle of champagne, you've ALREADY spent too much money.

Side note: My singing voice is either much better when I'm drunk, or I just THINK it is.

And NOW back to the grindstone. Next up on the agenda are a haircut and new headshots, so much of October is going to be spent making money and saving said money. But in the meantime I have about five or six hard copies of my current headshot left, so look for at least five or six more auditions in the near future!

To the castle!!

This Might Kill Me

2011-09-08T18:35:00.000-07:00

It's official.

I've been cast in two of the shows in the Manhattan Rep One-Act Competition.

For a brief moment I considered doing both, and how frigging badass it would be if the rehearsal schedules worked out in such a way that I could do BOTH shows. I had this vision of me as this Super Actress, doing two shows at the same time, like Cynthia Nixon.

And then, inevitably, reality descended and I realized that I live in the real world. I have a job. I wait tables. And juggling ONE show with waiting tables is hard enough.

First of all, hurricane Irene closed The Restaurant for the first time in...all time, and I got screwed out of my two most lucrative shifts. So as of August 30th, the week I was doing these auditions, I was already a week behind in my rent. I would have to pick up some extra shifts just to avoid bouncing a check.

In order to do both these shows, I would have to give up half of my shifts. And "give up" is a misleading term, since they were all lunch shifts. Less money, and you have to get up early. Sometimes you have to bribe people to take them. That would leave me with only Saturday and Sunday to work, and the only day I would be able to pick up would be Monday. And Monday was not a very good day when it comes to money.

And then the other reality hit me.

I hadn't been in a show since "Work: A Play," which had been months ago.

The landlord to whom I owed rent is my father, and though he's always taken a very firm stance with me on my choice to live in poverty, would never throw me out on the street.

And finally, and most importantly...

I did not go to school to be a waitress.

I did not bust my ass for four years, and then another four out on the streets of Manhattan to smile at your dumb jokes and scurry off for another basket of bread that you're not going to eat, since you've ordered way too much food anyway. I'm not working for $5 an hour plus tips, refilling your Shirley Temple because I'm passionate about assisting people on their path to diabetic shock.

By my sweet Lord in Heaven, I am DOING THIS.

I'm doing BOTH shows. I'm working three days a week, and a double on Mondays if I can find someone to give me their Monday dinner. I'm stealing food from work, drinking water instead of buying iced tea, and sometimes I'm rehearsing for both shows in one day.

The day after my last performance of "The Mechanicals," I have to be back at the theater for the tech rehearsal of "Dust in the Wind." (And if you don't remember what a hassle tech rehearsals are, check out my entry on the tech for Work: A Play)

Today I worked a lunch shift. I needed what little money it was, and Thursday lunches are usually $100-$120 at The Restaurant. I was supposed to be at rehearsal for "The Mechanicals," but I couldn't find anyone willing to cover the shift. It was okay though, I couldn't work again until Saturday, so I could really use the $100.

But this week school starts again. No one is on vacation, and it was EXTREMELY slow. We ended up making only about $60. I came home almost in tears. I was really counting on that $100 to be able to pay my VISA bill next week.

And just when I thought this might have been a bad idea, I checked my mail, and there was the check for my background work for Girlhattan.

40 bucks for work done months ago. Bringing today's earnings to $100.

Sometimes...just sometimes, I get the feeling that someone is watching out for me.

When you got nothin', you got nothin' to lose.

2011-09-06T10:29:00.000-07:00

Two days after the last audition I wrote about, "Dust in the Wind," I had another audition for a fun play called, "The Mechanicals," about a group of high school students putting on a production of Midsummer Night's Dream. The director had sent me sides and it looked really funny.

Then, the evening before the audition, I got a phone call from Dorit, the writer and director of "Dust in the Wind."

I got the role!

I haven't done a show since "Work: a Play," so I was really, really excited. But I was bummed that I wouldn't get to go to the "Mechanicals" audition, so I emailed the director and explained the situation, and told him when the show would be performing. I figured even if I was no longer available, I might still be able to audition, maybe they'd like me and keep me in mind for other things. He told me to come in anyway.

I got there early, was the first one there, and had the good fortune to run into the director and the audition monitors while they were setting up, so I got to introduce myself. I sat outside the room while two other people came in for their audition slots, which were before mine, and I read over the scene.

I was reading for the girl who got cast as Hermia, checking the posted list with her best friend, who didn't get into the show, and the fight that ensued. Towards the end of the fight she's supposed to look at the list to find the name of the girl playing Helena. The stage direction was "quickly glances at the board."

But as I was standing outside the room, about to go in, I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be funny if I couldn't find her name right away, and the fight comes to a screeching halt while I'm looking for it?"

It was risky. I would be going against a specific stage direction (the director was also the writer) and I would be bringing the momentum of the fight (which would have been building the entire time) to a complete halt. It would either be hilarious, or completely ruin my audition.

But then I realized that chances are, I can't even do this show in the first place because of the one I'm already doing. So what's the use of playing it safe if I'm not trying my best to get them to like me? I'm just going to do something funny. So I decided to stick with the pause until SOMEONE laughed.

I got into the room and I could tell my read was going well. They were chuckling at all the right places. Then I got to the pause (right before my last line) and instead of glancing at the board, I turned to the front of the room and stared blankly, moving my eyes from left to right as if reading very quickly, all to COMPLETE silence.

The briefest of "uh-ohs" entered my mind until finally, someone laughed.

Then I turned back to my scene partner and said the last line, but was completely drowned out by laughter.

I had a brief conversation with the director after my read in which we discussed my conflicts and availability. He was concerned because one of the performances for "Dust in the Wind" was the same day as one of the performances for "The Mechanicals." I explained that "Dust in the Wind" was part of the Manhattan Repertory Fall One-Act Play Competition. So the conflicting performance would only happen if the show got to the final round of the contest.

As soon as I said it was part of the Manhattan Rep Contest, he looked at me and said, "So is this."

We started talking about specific dates, and rehearsal times, and work schedules.

He sent me on my way and told me I'd know for sure by Sunday. I walked out onto the street and started laughing, pretty sure I'd just been cast in two shows at the same time.

Audition Log: 8/29/11

2011-08-30T17:58:00.000-07:00

Dust in the Wind
Written and directed by Dorit Katzenelenbogen

About three years ago I did this acting workshop with a bunch of people from the City University of New York community. I'm lucky enough to have a lot of friends from CUNY Queens because my best friend from High School happened to go there. So when I came home from SUNY New Paltz (State University of New York--ooh, fancy) I would hang out with him and his friends.

And his girlfriend.

Yeah.

That's how I roll.

Anyway, shortly after I graduated and came back to the city, a bunch of us started a "workshop," which was basically just us getting together to read monologues we wanted to use for auditions, scenes we'd written, or stuff we'd just always wanted to do.

So when I saw the name of one of the young ladies who attended that workshop on a casting notice in Backstage, I thought to myself, "Man, how many Dorit Katzenelenbogens are there in the world? It's got to be her."

The play is a one-act that's being put on as part of a competition, and I got an audition for 9:45pm last night, as what I'm sure was one of the last auditions for the piece.

Unfortunately when I got there the door was locked.

But someone came down, leaving after a long day of doing something else that they do in that building, and I got in.
The audition went well, and we actually spent most of the time chatting and catching up. I left feeling upbeat, and optimistic, and got on the elevator to go from the third floor to the lobby...

And BOOM! The elevator shoots straight down to the basement and BOUNCES. I'm pretty sure I've just experienced Biggest Fear # 1 of 3: Falling in an elevator (#2: Vomiting in public, #3: Zombies). The doors did not open, and buttons pushed yielded no response whatsoever. But after a second, the lobby button lit up again, and the elevator went up and opened.

I shot out of that sucker and was down the street at the bar within five minutes.

If I get the part, awesome. But I consider myself lucky to be alive regardless.

Bring it on, Irene

2011-08-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

Negative Nancy and The Floater

2011-08-26T15:00:00.000-07:00

Background work is kind of a thankless job. It's a little different if you're doing it on a professional television show, like when I did Rescue Me, or even the work I did on "Girlhattan" a few weeks ago. When you're surrounded by people who really know what they're doing, and manage their time well, it's definitely an easier experience.

But when you're doing background on a low-budget, non-Union project, you have to expect a certain number of things:

1. If it said it's going to be a 4 to 6 hour shoot, expect a 6 to 8 hour shoot at the very least. Don't make plans.
2. You will be sitting around doing a lot of nothing.
3. They might not feed you.

Yesterday I did work on a non-Union film. We filmed in Greenpoint, Brooklyn and we were supposed to be hipsters. So I tucked my tightest jeans into some boots, threw on a vest and a skinny belt and I was on my way.

And I'm happy to report that they did feed us. There was quite a spread actually. Water, iced tea, soda and Capri Sun. Chips, peanut butter and jelly, Oreos, chips and a hell of a lot of candy. Our call time was 10am, but the director was shooting a couple of scenes with the principal actors first. So we did end up sitting around for a while before we were actually used. A lot of people were getting frustrated.

I wasn't frustrated. It is what it is. There were like 50 extras, and you don't want that many people arriving while you're in the middle of shooting another scene, especially if it's taking longer than expected. So it sucks that we were just sitting there for a while, but whatever. I ran into a former classmate of mine, so she and I hung out.

This is a picture of me and Flannery, looking bored.

And then we had pizza!

Enter Negative Nancy.

When we finally do begin to set up for our scene, they put me at the end of the bar, next to this older guy, and they give us fake drinks (orange juice and water--yum). So I turn to the guy next to me and try to strike up a conversation.

I say, "What's up, man?"
He says, "I don't want to be here. I want to go home. But I figured, you know, I'll come down and help them out, but this is just ridiculous. It's taking forever."

Blink.

Okay, Negative Nancy. I asked him if he knew the people involved in the production. You know, since he said, "I'll come down and help them out." But no. The reason he sees his being there as doing the production a favor was because he's SAG. (In other words, part of the Union--the Screen Actors Guild)

So then he proceeds to go on an on at length about all the perks he's supposed to be getting because he's SAG. He should have been placed nearer to the camera, he should have gotten better food, they were supposed to notify him if they were going to be using smoke.

And you know what? He may be right, the production may not have complied with SAG rules, but it does happen. And that wasn't my problem. My problem was that he

Just.

Kept.

Complaining.

And every time he complained, he rounded it out with, "but I'm not going to complain." Meaning "I'm not going to complain to anyone involved in the production, but you young lady are going to get a damn ear full."

My saving grace came when they switched to a tighter lens and we were no longer visible at the end of the bar, so they moved us. But he was still right next to me! I could not escape. Luckily, I now had a few more people to talk to rather than him.

And this is when I almost killed him. He walks over to the snack table and puts down his prop drink (a fake rum and coke in a glass with ice and a lime) and picks up a plastic cup and a Capri Sun, and walks back into the shot with it. SO UNPROFESSIONAL.

He continues to complain about what time it is, and how long the shoot has taken, and says "I bet we don't even get that I.B.D. thing."

"That I.B.D. thing" refers to the imdb (internet movie database) credit we were supposed to receive for working on the film. So not only are you the most unprofessional Union actor I've ever met, you don't even know the correct name of the biggest film database in creation?

He said, "But I'm not going to complain" one more time and I said, "Really? Because it doesn't seem like you're doing anything else."

I mean really, you're not doing what we were told to do. He kept talking during shots when we were supposed to be pantomiming dialogue because the mics were picking up too much noise. Just leave! If this were my movie, I would rather not have someone than run the risk that they were going to mess up my shots.

And Negative Nancy wasn't the only glaring example of unprofessional behavior on set. There was also:

The Floater:

This man tried everything to be on camera. Though all of us were placed specifically, this guy decided to walk around the room, even coming to stand in front of me when I was clearly in the line of the camera.

He kept hanging around behind the lead actress, looking like the unpopular kid hanging around the cool people at a party, hoping to become part of the conversation.

When this movie is finished, I won't be surprised if you can see him in every single shot.

Listen people, background work sucks in many many ways. Especially in a scene that's so big you know there's no way you'll be able to see yourself. But it's much, much more important to be professional.

At one point, two of the crew members were talking.

Crew Member 1: "Do you have the number of the woman who coordinated all the background people?"
Crew Member 2: "Yeah, why?"
Crew Member 1: "There's one guy here. He's never coming back to set again."

I can only hope they were talking about either Negative Nancy or The Floater. But they sure as Hell weren't talking about me.

Fit

2011-08-19T11:42:00.000-07:00

An important part of being an actor in this unforgiving city is having actor friends around you to be supportive of you. After all, what good is doing a show if none of your friends come to see it?

I've been lucky enough to have some amazing actor friends, almost all of whom are not douches. And two of the most non-douchey friends I have are Harmony and Lauren.

Harmony (left) is my college roommate's cousin. I'd met her once or twice when she came to a party a the house Cate and I shared in New Paltz, and when she moved to the city, Cate gave her my number and I helped get her a job at The Restaurant (a crime I'll always be seeking redemption for).

Since then she and I have become whatever the female equivalent of "bros" is (my first instinct is "hoes" but that doesn't sound right, so I'm just going to go with "bros"). The multitude of Facebook photos of us hanging out has never ceased to freak Cate out.

Lauren (right) and I both graduated at the same time, me from New Paltz and her from Miami, and we both started working at The Restaurant at the same time. Both of us were kind of alone in the city, with our college besties in different states, so we grabbed onto each other by the arm and decided to be Replacement Best Friends.

Since then our "best friends" have come back into our lives, and Lauren and I have graduated from Replacement Best Friends to Actual Friends.

So... I've had cause to be pretty jealous in the last few weeks, because Harmony and Lauren are in a show together right now. I saw it last night, and I have to say I'm very proud of my lovely lady friends.

The show is called "Fit," and it's part of the NY Fringe Festival. They got just a critic's pick on Backstage, and a lovely review (including a big ol' picture of Lauren talking to her baby).

Both of them are doing Scottish accents, and rocking them! The story is about three generations of women, a grandmother, a mother and a daughter, all of whom are twenty years old when the play takes place. Lauren plays Fiona, the grandmother who at twenty years old is a wife and mother in a tiny flat in Glasgow. Harmony is her daughter Lauren (ha!) who at twenty is rebelling against her mother's conventional lifestyle.

It's an interesting thing when you go see your friends in a meaty role with a lot of drama, and realize that they're really good. Both of them made me cry, and I'm planning on seeing it again next week, and dragging The Boyfriend as well!

Here's a review from nytheatre.com!

More Photos from the Urban Dictionary set...

2011-08-09T12:31:00.001-07:00

This shot also took place in the Waldorf. It was one of those fancy, dream sequence shots where the camera holds on a face and the room is spinning in the background. Only, we didn't have the right kind of equipment, so we just worked with what we had.

We got a baggage cart from the bellhops, and clamped the camera to one side so it wouldn't move. Then I got on it and hung off the side while Josh and Gary spun it around.

It was a lot of fun, but left me extremely dizzy afterwards.

And I'm pretty sure the hotel staff was a bit suspect about why we needed this. Also why Gary was wearing a gold shirt.

Urban Slang, Episode Two

2011-07-27T10:10:00.000-07:00

Gary and I just started shooting the next Urban Slang short with Pete and Josh. And since the L-Bomb got such a great response, I can't wait for this one to be done!

The shoot is a little more complicated. We need to find a bar or a nightclub for one of the shoots, and since we have no budget and are relying only on people who love us, this is a little tricky. But it's a huge amount of fun.

Our first shoot was at the Presidential Suite of the Waldorf Towers. You needed a key to use the elevator. Two of my friends were in the shoot as well, and they saw Ben Kingsley on their way up to the room. I was like, "How did I even get in here?"

It was absolutely gorgeous. And for a small shining moment, I pretended that I was an important enough person to actually stay in one of these rooms.

Last week Josh and Pete screened the L-Bomb for over 500 people. The Youtube video has over 1300 views in 3 months, and the Funny or Die page has almost another 300, with a 96% vote saying it's funny. Huzzah!

So I'm extremely excited that we're continuing with the series, in the midst of shooting and editing the pilot, Max August: Private Eye, which is the entire reason I got involved with these guys in the first place.

After I wrapped, before I left the hotel for the day, I went into the bedroom and jumped on the bed. I figured it was my last chance to jump on the bed in a Presidential Suite.

I mean, here's hoping it's not, but it might be.

Open Calls

2011-07-07T04:45:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while I decide that going to an Open Call is a good idea, even though it means waking up at 5am, standing in line for six hours, and then singing for less that a minute, trying to stand out in a group of 700 people.

This morning, the new production of Godspell on Broadway is holding an open call. Like, a true open call. No union affiliation will be given priority. It's first come, first serve, from 10am to 5pm.

10am? I decided to get there at 6am.

Unfortunately everyone else decided this was a Justin Beiber concert, and camped out overnight, and by the time I got out there, there were already over 200 people on the sign-up sheet.

And if I had all day, that wouldn't be too much of a problem, but I have a pilot to shoot today. So I came back home, got McDonald's breakfast, and returned the concept of the Open Call back to the "just out of college" years of my career.

The Danger of Wanting It

2011-06-29T07:52:00.000-07:00

If you've ever been unemployed for any great stretch of time, then you know the worst part about looking for a new job is going on that great interview where everything seems to fit together, and then never hearing back from the job. Ever.

And if you have a friend who is an actor, and you've complained about this to them, you've probably gotten a knowing smirk and a nod. Because trust me, we understand how that feels. I've been going on auditions for almost four years and I can count on one hand the number of times I've been contacted when I didn't get the part.

It's not the fault of the auditioners, of course. Too many people audition or submit for each role for there to be time to call every single person not being cast. And these people don't have assistants, they're doing everything themselves. I know if I'd just spent 9 hours sitting in a plastic folding chair for two days straight watching two hundred bitches murder the Spoon River Anthology in a small windowless room, the girls not being cast would be lucky not to be getting kicked in the teeth for wasting my time.

That being said, I pride myself on being very good at keeping my eye on the ball. I don't come out of every audition waiting on pins and needles to hear that I got the part. I don't sit at home on a Friday night waiting for the phone to ring, I make sure I'm out at the club the very next night, mackin' it to the honeys.

But every once in a while I'll lose my shit a little bit. Some audition will come along and before you know it I'm imagining myself married to it, with a house on Long Island and a bunch of little babies running around the pool deck with those big foam noodle things. Such was the case last week, with an audition and callback that I thought went very well.

So well in fact, that when I went in for the callback, the director smiled, said "Hey sweetie, great to see you again," and told me that my read was excellent. Needless to say, I walked out and immediately called my boyfriend to tell him I thought it was in the bag. All that was left to do was put my feet up and wait for the phone to ring.

The next day I still hadn't heard anything, but I didn't worry. After all, I don't know how late into Thursday night callbacks had gone, they might be waiting a day or two to start letting people know. But I had thoroughly convinced myself that I would be getting a call, so I tried to get on with my life.

Unfortunately that meant checking my email obsessively every ten minutes.

By Sunday night, every good thing I'd done at the audition was forgotten and I'd convinced myself I was utterly wrong for the part. I was too young, and too mature. My read was too sentimental, but didn't get to an emotional enough place. My eyes were too blue, but not blue enough.

Monday morning I realized I'm an idiot. If I got it, it's because I got it. And if I didn't it's because of any number of other reasons that have nothing to do with me.

It is now Tuesday. A week from the initial audition. So now, I'm taking a deep breath, and letting it go. I'm moving on to the next thing, and keeping my eye on the ball.

My Mother Should Be My Press Agent

2011-06-23T19:54:00.000-07:00

She found this video on YouTube, which is from a promotional shoot for a movie called "Evil Things," which is about 5 college students who disappear during a weekend vacation.

For the shoot we were asked to create a character associated with one of the missing students and improvise for a minute or so.

This is what I did:

Huck Finn and The Five Boons

2011-06-14T11:59:00.000-07:00

Saturday I filmed my scene for "Huck Finn and the Five Boons," an upcoming film from AstroLab Films.

Here's what AstroLab has to say about the film:

"This year, on the centennial of Twain's death, a new version of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn was published replacing the word 'nigger' with 'slave,' just the latest step in the book's turbulent history. As one of the ten most censored books of the twentieth century, Huck Finn has endured it all. Huck Finn and the Five Boons combines Mark Twain's most treasured character with one of his most fantastical short stories, coincident with the centennial of the author's death and the publication of his long-suppressed autobiography. Huck Finn and Mark Twain himself must confront what it means to lose control of their narrative and their lives as they experience the audience's interest, love, anger, and even apathy."

Of all the film work I've been doing lately, this one was by far the most intriguing script, and definitely the most professional set. The shoot was extremely long (counting travel time, almost 18 hours) but I had so much fun I hardly even noticed.

I can't wait to see the finished project, and will continue to post updates on the project as they become available. In the meantime, they are looking for donors, so visit their website if you would like to help!

Work: A Play

2011-05-03T20:20:00.000-07:00

The above is one of the video segments from Work: A Play, which just wrapped up its fist weekend, and has three more performances coming up this Thursday, Friday and Saturday at 8pm.

And we've gotten some pretty good reviews as well:

"Poignant and hilarious... a fun show with lots of strange characters and lots of action... Get down there and check this one out." -NYTheatre.com

"A fantastically talented cast... fun stuff... if you're in a job that feels 'Powerpointless,' escape the fluorescent lights and retreat into the comforting darkness of UNDER St. Marks." - Show Business Weekly

So don't miss you last three chances to come and see this awesome show! You can get tickets right here!

And visit No Tea Productions for more information!

Theatre is my religion...

2011-04-11T10:35:00.000-07:00

My third show with No Tea Productions, "Work: A Play" opens up on April 28th, and so the Sunday before Opening Night is our Tech Rehearsal.

For those of you who do not know what a Tech Rehearsal is, see below. If you already do, you may scroll down:

10:00 am Sunday Morning
You arrive at the theatre in which you will be doing your show. Often, this is the first time you will be in that theatre, as opposed to a rehearsal studio.

You have coffee and possibly donuts with the other members of your cast, and talk about how tired you are.

10:30am-11:00am
You get into your costume, and do your hair, and spend the next few minutes ooh-ing and ah-ing at everybody's funny costumes.

11:00am-2:00pm
You start to "Tech" the show. Meaning, you begin to run the scenes with lighting, sound, and any other technical elements. For the meat of the scenes, where the lighting doesn't change or there are no sound of lighting effects, you skip the dialogue.

In Tech, you take a backseat to the technical elements of the show. You spend a lot of time standing around, talking in hushed tones while your director and stage manager talk to the designers, and try to fix the lighting. Then they tell you to stand slightly to the left, or to the right, to get the brightest light on your face.

2:00pm
Lunch

3:00pm-8:00pm
You keep doing the same thing until eventually you've gotten through the whole show. And then, hopefully you have enough time to run the show with lighting and sound.

8:00pm (or perhaps later if things have not gone well)
You emerge, blinking into the night, remembering that at one point, the sun had been out, but your lunch break seems like a pretty distant memory. You gather your junk, and head straight to the bar.

10:00pm
Tequila.

1:00am
Sleep.

In a show like Work, with video segments covering most of the transitions between scenes, Tech is no doubt going to be a huge flaming ball of complications and short tempers.

I love Tech. You come out of it like you've been in a fox-hole with the people in your show.

THEATRE PEOPLE WHO ALREADY KNOW OF THE RIGORS OF TECH, YOU MAY SKIP TO HERE!

So obviously, the Sunday before we open is our Tech rehearsal. It's in two weeks, on April 24th. I work lunch shifts on Sundays, but I got my rehearsal schedule in all good time, so I set about getting someone to switch a shift with me and cover the 24th. There's only one problem:

That's Easter Sunday.

Find me someone who will be willing to work at Angelo's* on Easter Sunday when they don't have to, and I'll show you someone who doesn't know what day of the week Easter Sunday is, but is probably going to try and get out of it as soon as they figure it out. They do those Italian Easter breads for the tables with the Easter Egg in the middle. It's cute for about five seconds, until whatever kids sitting at the table get a hold of it and pry the egg out, smashing it all over the table cloth.

The entire restaurant smells like egg.

Which kind of smells like farts.

Teching on Easter doesn't bother me. I'm not a religious person, and honestly the show means more to me than the holiday. I'm just worried I won't be able to find coverage, and will have to miss the first half of tech.

Someday, someday, someday I will not have to work in a restaurant.

In the meantime, though: Egg Bread.

*This is not the actual name of the restaurant I work in. But this is the internet, and I don't want anyone reading where I work and showing up at my job to stab me in the face.

The L-Bomb

2011-04-05T11:00:00.000-07:00

In May I'm going to be shooting a pilot with Josh Apter and Pete Olsen, two very talented filmmakers (these are the guys who gave me beer at the audition- awesome).

I'm going to get to work with Peter Grosz, writer for the Colbert Report and winner of two Primetime Emmys, and my character is a total bitch, so I'm very excited.

But in the meantime, we decided to put together a little short film, to stretch our legs, try out some lenses and give us an excuse to hang out. It's done, and on Funny or Die.

Here's the YouTube video:

Give us all your money.

2011-03-21T11:25:00.000-07:00

The IndieGoGo campaign for "Provocation" has raised over $1300 towards our $2000 goal, but we're not quite there yet!

Donations can be as little as $10

And while you've got your checkbook out, let me tell you about someone else who really needs your money.

My good friend Harmony Stempel is another struggling New York actress. In addition to the hustling bustling world of acting, she'd also spent the past few years working as an artist's model. And from her experiences she's collaborated on a show with playwright Andrea Kuchlewska. They're going to be bringing the show to Prague, to be performed in the Prague Fringe, directed by their good friend, Liam Billingham.

They can only go to Prague if they reach their fund-raising goal, so it's very important that people help if they can.

Visit their fund-raising site on Kickstarter.com to watch a video about the project. You can donate as little as a dollar to help them bring their show to Prague.

Think about how much you spend on fancy Starbucks coffee.

That reminds me, I want a latte.

If nothing else, I got a Clementine...

2011-03-19T09:24:00.001-07:00

About a month ago I had an audition for a parody news show that I had to miss. I'd woken up that morning feeling really sick, but I was bummed that I missed it.

I sent them an email and told them to let me know if they were going to have any additional auditions, but I didn't think it was very likely.

Well, as it turns out, they did have a second round, and I had an audition for them this morning.

Went in with a pretty chill attitude, but when I sat down and actually started talking about the project with the two guys, I started to get a little nervous. It was starting to sound like a really exciting opportunity.

So I got nervous right before reading the script, and so I think my read was a little... amateur. It just felt a little Drama Class to me. But they had me read twice, and the second time was better. They gave me some good feedback, and I got an orange.

This comes on the heels of receiving a phone call last night informing me that I unfortunately did not make the second round of the National Anthem search, but oh well.

Rehearsals for the next No Tea show begin next Monday, and then I'm shooting a pilot in May. More info on that is forthcoming.

2011 Anthem Search at CitiField

2011-03-14T20:13:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I received the most adorable message from my grandma.

So I figured what the heck.

I woke up at 5:30am, and I was so tired that I put the coffee beans in the part where the water's supposed to go. I only live about five minutes away from CitiField so I was there by 7. I was a little afraid that there weren't going to be a lot of people there. I just needed to be in the first one hundred, but if there were only ten people there, I was going to be PISSED that I woke up at 5:30.

There were a lot of people, but I thought it very likely that I was in the top one hundred, since there were a lot of parents there.

NY1 was there, which was extremely exciting.

And so I stood/sat outside of the stadium until 11am, when we slowly began to file in, ten at a time. I sang, I left, and on the way out they gave me two free tickets to a game in April.

I'll find out if I made the second round in the next week, but in the meantime, I was in the NY1 broadcast. I'm rifling through my purse 22 seconds in.

Trailer for Provocation

2011-03-09T17:19:00.001-08:00

Yay! It's finally here! And it's gooooooood. After this long, it had better be good.

But seriously folks, it's up on a website called indiegogo, and we are raising money so that we can submit it to festivals. So if you can donate, you definitely should, but nonetheless, check out the awesome trailer!!!

IndieGoGo
IndieGoGo
IndieGoGo

I hope I'm not coming on too strong...

2011-03-01T15:07:00.000-08:00

My Rock of Ages campaign marches on.

As it turns out, my very good friend Jen's cousin wrote the original musical, so I've made a video specifically targeted at him.

And last night, the director himself sent out a tweet confirming that they will be looking for unknown actors to play Drew and Sherrie.

Rock on.

My Shot At Sherrie

I need your help!

2011-02-24T10:25:00.000-08:00

I've started an internet campaign to try and get the lead role in the film adaptation of the musical "Rock of Ages."

I figure I make an audition video, and I release it on the internet. If I can get as many people to watch it as possible, my hope is that it will eventually find its way into the hands of someone who can get me an audition or a meeting or SOMETHING.

Because, let's face it. Internet Video is kind of my thing. You know this, you've watched my videos before. Well, now I need you to send it around, get everyone you know to watch it. Let's all come together in support of my ridiculous dream!

Visit the website! Click the link below!

My Shot At Sherrie
My Shot At Sherrie
My Shot At Sherrie
My Shot At Sherrie

Shoots and Giggles

2011-02-22T11:52:00.000-08:00

2011 is already turning out to be a pretty good year. Last Thursday I combined two of my New Year's resolutions: Get a reel, and actually do more New York-y things.

Because seriously, I've lived here all my life and I've only been to Central Park five times.

Well now, make that six. Josh, A.K.A. the guy who gave us pizza and beer at the audition for Max August, asked me to come out and shoot a short with him. Mainly because they got some lenses on loan and didn't have anything to use them on. So he grabbed me and Gary (whose back is pictured at left) to put together a little short while they're developing Max August.

We went to Central Park (so that makes six) and walked across the Brooklyn Bridge, which I have never done, but have been saying "I should" for the past year. Our bridge shoot was at sundown--freakin' gorgeous.

My favorite part of filming something in public is everybody looking at you, trying to figure out if you're famous, and that moment when they realize, No, you're not important.

However, there was a young French girl with her parents on the Brooklyn Bridge, who must have been about thirteen, who made her parents stay and watch almost the entire shoot. Between one of the takes I looked over at her and stuck my tongue out and she laughed and said something to her mom in French.

We didn't end up getting all the shots we needed, so we're going to be continuing this week.

Then Sunday was my shoot for "Finding Me," with my lovely co-star Coco (yes, that is a real dog). This shoot was a lot of fun, but very indicative of the rigors of film acting.

I was up at 7am to get to Brooklyn by 9. The shots were all evening interior shots, so when I got there, the crew was taping black garbage bags over the windows to block out the daylight.

I was a supporting role, so I was not in a lot of the shots, so I spent a lot of time sitting in the dark. I kept falling asleep, and waking up just before I had to go on film.

The shoot was a lot of fun, and I got some really nice stuff, including a few tears. I'm really excited to get all of this stuff back and start putting together a reel. Next up, the second half of the short with Josh and Gary, and then a music video on Monday.

Huzzah.

"Hello life; This is what it feels like when I take you by the balls." -Jen

2011-02-10T12:09:00.000-08:00

Upcoming Film shoots: 4

Sunday, February 20th
"Finding Me," Student film

Thursday, February 24th
"Keep the Party Going"

Monday, February 28th
Music video

And the Max August webseries, which is TBA sometime in April

Upcoming Auditions: 2

Sunday, February 13th
Student Film

Sunday, February 13th
Comedy news network

Hat Trick

2011-02-05T13:47:00.001-08:00

I've had three auditions in the past two weeks. All of them have been for film projects, non-union, no pay. But I've been looking for stuff like that because I want to have a reel by the end of the year. A good reel, with high-quality clips that really showcase my abilities and talents.

Of those three roles, I've gotten all of them.

Every. Single. One.

I apologize for my hubris. But day-um.

The last couple of months, when it was getting cold, and auditions were pretty thin on the ground, I was having a motivation problem. I'd sit at home at night, watching YouTube clips of my favorite celebrities, talking about how they got started, and I'd feel incredibly frustrated that I was still stuck at home emailing my resume.

But I was hibernating, and I didn't want to do the work. I flaked out on a couple of auditions, though I felt like crap afterwards.

So now that holidays are over and there are plenty of auditions to go around, I've been trying this whole new, positive attitude thing.

While I'm on the subway, taking my hour-long trip for my five-minute audition, I'll listen to "Lose Yourself" by Eminem, and think to myself, "I have to buy groceries, and go to the bank, and call my Mom... but first I'm going to go get this role."

And apparently, that train of thought is working.

So now, I have two projects filming in the next couple of weeks, and one around April. And in the meantime, plenty more auditions.

I Have A Theory...

2011-02-03T19:55:00.000-08:00

If you are at an audition, and the people running that audition offer you a beer, they are testing you, in order to find out how Awesome you are.

Because a director who offers you beer at an audition is surely Awesome, and only actors of an equal or greater level of Awesomeness can work under such Awesome direction.

So, when I turn in for the night and look back on my accomplishments for the day, will I be happy with the level of Awesomeness that I attained?

Indeed I will.

The audition was for a promo for a mock-umentary webseries. It's similar to The Office, it chronicles the production of a reality show. The audition was unconventional, but really fun.

We all arrived at the same time, and though we went into the room either one or two at a time, the majority of my time there was spent sitting with all the other actors, hanging out. They bought us pizza, soda, and (the aforementioned) beer.

The actual audition was great, too. They gave me a scenario and let me improvise it. I was supposed to be some tough-as-nails production manager with tattoos.

I cannot stress how much I want to wear temporary facial tattoos.

The Importance of Being Polite

2011-02-02T15:49:00.000-08:00

My parents taught me a few valuable things in life. Always hold onto the banister when you go down the stairs, don't run by the pool, and good manners are hard to come by.

I had an audition today to be a featured extra in a film. Now, I've had a few chances to do extra work in the past couple of weeks, but for no money, in the kind of weather we've been having, I've passed. But this one was for a "Featured Extra" (with a name!) and they were asking me to come audition, so I figured there was probably more substance to this one.

I walked into the room and shook the Director's hand. On the far side of the room was the Producer, and between us, laid out on the floor were about 25 head shots. I felt a momentary hesitation at the thought of possibly stepping on some girl's face, but I pushed through and stepped over to shake the Producer's hand.

In that momentary lull, the Director glanced down at my resume-- which he later told me he hadn't been doing throughout auditions until the girl had left the room.

He saw that I had "Impressions" listed on my special skills. So instead of just asking me a few questions about my experience and schedule, like they'd been doing for the other girls, he asked me to do an impression.

I did Gilbert Gottfried.

They ended up having me do several more, tell jokes, and do stand-up, and while I was in the room, they developed a character for me. So now, instead of being an Extra in a bar scene, I am going to be a comedian performing during a separate scene in which everyone is watching a show.

Which means lines, more screen time, and a high-quality recording of my Gilbert Gottfried impression to put on my reel.

And all because I shook hands.

2011-01-31T22:00:00.000-08:00

To The Celebrities, Writers and Producers I Follow On Twitter, at Whom I Have Tweeted a Link to the "White Thunder" Video:

No matter what I said (in 140 characters or less) to make it seem like I selflessly wanted you to spend a few minutes enjoying a hilarious video for no other reason than to have a good chuckle, I did it so that you would think I was the shit, fly me out to LA and put me on whatever show you are affiliated with.

Your move.

Finally Settling Into My Type

2011-01-26T13:42:00.000-08:00

Just got cast in a student film for the Digital Film Academy. The role? Drumroll please….

The funny best friend.

Booyah.

The audition was actually a great ego boost, too. They had seen “How to Give People Your Business Card,” on my Backstage multimedia resume, and decided that I had the exact energy that they wanted. My actually coming in to audition was really more of a formality.

V. exciting. I mentally flash-forwarded to a time in which I am a humongous star, and no longer have to “audition” for things. Instead I’m having meetings, like on Entourage before Vince started his dating-a-porn-star downward spiral. My fictional agent on the phone, driving in a car with the top down, yelling, "Michele McNally doesn't audition. Don't you know who Michele McNally is?"

On a more professional note: After this is shot I should have enough material for a decent reel. So perhaps that fantasy is a little bit closer to reality.

Oh but who shall be my Turtle?

I wish I'd been born in the 40s or 50s...

2011-01-22T19:49:00.000-08:00

I just saw a YouTube video of Seth MacFarlane singing "Kids" from Bye, Bye Birdie, and whoever posted the video wrote as the description, "Seth singing as Roger from American Dad."

That makes me feel sad. And kind of old.

New Video!

2011-01-18T21:28:00.000-08:00

Yes.

I can't think of a better justification for always having a bottle of white wine in my apartment, if this is what happens when I stay home drinking it.

I have a new video, which can be found right here:

White Thunder

Golden Globes drinking game...

2011-01-18T09:28:00.000-08:00

Every time I act out my own acceptance speech, I take a shot.

...

So I just woke up somewhere in New Jersey, wearing a snow-suit and one ballet slipper. Everything is a blur, but I seem to remember Ricky Gervais being kind of a dick, and a lot of people wearing green.

When the SAG awards roll around, I'm thinking sparkling grape juice.

Hopefully the swollen jaw will help them remember me...

2011-01-15T17:28:00.001-08:00

I just scheduled an audition for 1:30 on Saturday when I'm having a root canal at 9:30 that morning.

It's actually part two of a root canal I started a few weeks ago. I had her pump me so full of novocaine last time that by the end of it I couldn't open my eye all the way. But that was the procedure in which my dentist actually removed the nerve, so maybe I won't need to use as much this time.

Here's hoping.

Until the day I die...

2011-01-13T21:12:00.001-08:00

...this will be the greatest way in which I've ever been asked to audition for something.

"I clicked your headshot on Backstage and spent the next ten minutes laughing my ass off."

2011-01-12T16:10:00.000-08:00

Damn it Backstage, why can't you constantly have new auditions every five minutes on the nights when I'm watching TV with a glass of White Zinfandel.

Don't you realize that's how often I'm clicking the refresh button?

2011-01-08T09:38:00.000-08:00

2011 is a week old.

So far I've been on two auditions, scheduled three more, been approached by a professional fashion photographer, and set my hair on fire.

Okay, so the last one isn't a professional achievement, but still worth mentioning.

Auditions have been good. The first was for an art house film, and though I didn't get it, the director/writer sent me an email to tell me that I did a good job and that he liked my look, though they decided to go with someone else. It's always a nice little morale boost when people take the time to do that.

The next one was more casual, for a sketch comedy show, and it was one of those Wham-Bam auditions. An hour on the train for a minute and a half in the room. Where the only way you know if you did a good job is through your own self-assessment. And if my judgement isn't clouded by too much delusional confidence, I'd say I did a pretty good job.

The photographer thing happened on Tuesday night, while I was waiting for my friend Mike outside the big McDonald's on 42nd street. We're phone tagging right now, I'm supposed to call him on Monday to talk about doing a shoot.

So all in all, a sweet first week. Although it will be worth a chuckle if I go on all these auditions and the only job I get comes as the result of standing outside of a McDonald's.

Dear Casting Director:

2011-01-03T14:46:00.000-08:00

Please use proper spelling/grammar/punctuation/capitalization in you casting notice.

Not doing so makes me worried that your "art" film is actually soft core porn.

Or a trap.

I am not inclined to submit my headshot to either of those things.

That is all.

Professional Resolutions

2011-01-01T09:03:00.000-08:00

Aside from "washboard abs" and "learn the Thriller dance," I figure I should have some kind of goals for my career this year.

#1. Do at least one Open Mic a month.
Treat it like a homework assignment. If the end of the month comes and I still haven't gone, then two next month, as a make-up project.

#2. Edit a reel together.
Even if it means writing and producing my own stuff.

#3. Get Representation.
This one may be a little hard. It's tangible on a certain level, but it's also kind of like listing "Fall in love" as a New Year's Resolution. Like...yeah, I'll get right on that.

Speaking of which...

2010-12-28T16:33:00.000-08:00

After about an hour and a half of submissions, my cover letters go from this:

Hi, my name is Michele McNally and I would love to be considered for this project. I have studied improv with the Upright Citizens Brigade and have extensive experience working on student films. I'd really appreciate the chance to audition. Thanks again! Michele

to this:

I do a great nerdy-but-secretly-pretty girl. Just wait till you see me in a pair of thick glasses with my hair in a ponytail, like the first half hour of "She's All That." I totally get it.

True story. Consider this my apology to the casting director that is going to open that cover letter in the next 24 hours. Good luck with the rest of auditions.

2010-12-10T18:38:00.000-08:00

I greatly dislike not being able to go to auditions because I can't get my lunch shifts covered.

It would be one thing if I was in a rehearsal or shooting a film at the same time as said audition, but knowing that instead of doing a monologue, I'd be trying to up-sell a Ketel One and tonic makes me want to hurl.

BUT even if I don't get the shift covered for my audition on Sunday, I did get Tuesday off, so I can definitely go to that one. Woot.

Doesn't change the fact that if one more person orders a shrimp parmigiana at 11:30 in the morning, I will lose my breakfast, I'm not even joking.

Drawing the Line

2010-12-02T08:21:00.000-08:00

Well, the Kentucky Goblin Siege is finished, which means I'm back to the world of auditioning.

That being said, I had the most wonderful time with my No Tea crew, both familiar and unfamiliar, and cannot wait to work with each of them again. And that goes for the puppets, too.

So I'm trying to audition for as much as possible, and I'm submitting for loads of short films. I would really like to get a decent reel together this year to start sending out.

I was supposed to have an audition today for a short film, but I won't be attending. I've bowed out of a few auditions in my life. Usually it's because I worked or went out the night before, and staying in bed for a few more hours is a much more appealing way to spend the morning. But I always fee like crap afterwards.

This time the reason I'm not going is because I got the sides for the audition, and they are definitely rated R. When I submitted to the audition, there was a warning for sexual situations, and my character was described as being "in revealing clothing" for most of the film, but she was also billed as comic relief, so I thought it would be less of a bombshell role than the lead female.

It's not too outrageous, I've seen comparable scenes on cable television, but I can't wrap my head around the thought of actually being the one to say the words without feeling a little twinge of discomfort. So I've decided not to do it.

Part of me still feels like the lazy A-hole who just wants to sleep in, but I think I'm making the right decision.

And on the upside, now Jen and I can go to the earlier showing of Harry Potter. No spoilers, please.

Latest Review of The Kentucky Goblin Siege!

2010-11-13T16:42:00.000-08:00

There's a picture of me on TimeOut New York's website! This is a red-letter day for McNally!

This is the fifth review we've gotten, which is really exciting. I've never been in a show that's gotten this much exposure. Huzzah.

Reviews and images are now posted on the main page, as well as a link to Smart Tix. Only two shows left!!!

Three Shows Left!

2010-11-06T12:12:00.000-07:00

That's right, only three more chances to come and see The Kentucky Goblin Siege at the Kraine Theatre!

What better way is there to spend a Wednesday night?

We've been getting some great reviews! So you should definitely buy tickets before it's too late!

Opening Night!

2010-10-21T12:24:00.000-07:00

Curse this show for only being Wednesday nights, I almost can't wrap my head around the thought of not seeing my lovely No Tea peeps for a whole week.

The show opened last night, to a modest audience, but no worries. They seemed to enjoy it, and there were copious victory drinks and Mac 'n' Cheese bowls at Stillwater after! Thank goodness I don't work on Thursday mornings.

I'm so proud of this show, and of all the people in it with me, and I can't wait for all my friends to come and see it. So if you're reading this, you had better be coming to see it!

The best thing by far about this show is how much fun we all have doing it. We've been rehearsing for more than a month and I still have trouble not cracking up at some of the hilarious things my castmates do on stage.

Come see it. Seriously.

One more day!

2010-10-19T16:06:00.000-07:00

My show opens tomorrow!

I'm really excited. Our dress rehearsal went really well last night, which is awesome, but also kind of worrying due to that, "the worse the dress rehearsal, the better the show" thing. But we'll just assume that's one of those convenient theories that are only true when they're in your favor. So I've decided "the better the dress rehearsal, the better the show," is also true.

I can't wait to hear people laughing at all the jokes. Which I really hope happens, but am completely confident of.

Must start going on auditions for other stuff now. Should have been doing that for the past few weeks, but I just love sleeping so much. And besides, I've been working.

Yesterday, Olivia Newton John, Sherri Shepard from The View and Angelina from Jersey Shore all came into my restaurant. And yes, those names were listed in order of social relevance. I'll let you decide whether they were ascending or descending.

Come see The Kentucky Goblin Siege! Every Wednesday Night at 8pm from tomorrow until November 24th! Go to the main page for deets!

You are reading a Master Blog...

2010-10-07T10:06:00.000-07:00

There's a pun in there somewhere, and Lord help me I'll find it someday.

Masters Degree Online (which apparently has the authority and inclination to do so) has awarded me with an award for Outstanding Performance Arts Blog.

I would like to thank the Academy, and all my fellow nominees.

And in addition to the shiny little badge you see below (um...thanks?) among the other (500) winners are some pretty cool blogs about acting and film-making and the like. I'm now following a few of them, so you should check them out.

Now you may say, "Michele, who the hell are these people? Isn't it possible that this site is merely Googling performance arts blogs in hopes that the poor shmucks that have 'won' will post links in their blogs, therefore advertising this site to all their followers for free?"

Well, concerned citizen, you're probably right. I however, am not really concerned, because the link embeded in the badge was coded wrong, and doesn't work.

Suck it.

Online Masters Degree

My drunk self is booking gigs for my sober self

2010-09-29T13:22:00.000-07:00

This morning while I was looking through my purse for my Metrocard, I found the business card for the General Manager of the Ha! Comedy Club on 46th Street.

I have no idea how this card got in my purse.

But I am calling this guy.

The only explanation I can think of is that I'm much better at networking when I'm blackout drunk. It's got a nice Jekyll/Hyde thing going on for itself.

2010-09-27T09:23:00.000-07:00

I have to be off-book for the Kentucky Goblin Siege in six hours.

Rather than studying, I'm eating American Cheese while watching "How I Met Your Mother."

Confident that this evening's rehearsal will be a productive one.

2010-09-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

Lacking the motivation to go out and buy Drano, I just attempted to clean my shower drain with a chopstick.

It did not go well.

Fail.

Most fun ever

2010-08-23T10:41:00.000-07:00

Had my first day of filming for "Provocation" yesterday, and I have never had so much fun on a film set before in my life. We were filming at a bar in Goshen, which opened while we were there, so at one point we had actual bar patrons in the shot.

I'm playing a college student, and the kids playing my friends are mostly students from Orange County Community, and they're real fun to work with. We got to shoot one of those scenes where we had to improvise conversation, so we basically just joked around for 75% of the time.

The woman who owned the bar was amazing, she even bought us lunch. And then we filmed a scene where we had to be listening to a band, so after we filmed their song they played a couple of U2 covers. And then we spent about an hour after we were done playing pool.

Rounded out the day covered in fake blood because SPOILER ALERT:

I die.

Playing a dead body is a lot more fun than I thought. And they made me look really freaky. Photos will come soon.

Filming again next Sunday, but before that I'm going to be at the fundraiser for No Tea on Friday night, check out the details on the main page!

2010-08-12T09:30:00.000-07:00

Started my day by reading a script in my bathrobe with a cup of coffee.

Feel like a big star. Like Zac Efron.

Back in town...

2010-08-11T17:27:00.000-07:00

Well it seems that my career has come out of it's bi-monthly coma. Oddly enough, both of the jobs on the horizon came about when I was in D.C., lying on a bed in a hotel room for a restaurant job rather than a tour.

One of my former professors is working on a short film and asked me if I'd be interested. I responded with a resounding Hell Yes and I start filming next week.

On top of that, the next No Tea Production is coming up in October and I've been asked to read one of the parts for the reading this Monday. Whether or not this will lead to a part in the actual show, we shall see... we shall see...

More soon (hopefully).

At the 8th Ave Dunkin Donuts... killing time before work.

2010-07-24T10:41:00.000-07:00

You know those tales in legends like King Arthur, where a knight or a defenseless maiden wanders into the faery realm and gets lost, emerging what feels like hours later only to find that years have passed and everyone they once knew has grown old and died?

Well along the same vein, I just visited the 34th Street Macy's.

I have a gift card and I just want to buy a pair of sandals for walking around DC. And how happy I was to have this gift card to a store other than Conway or Payless, where I might be able to get a nice quality pair of shoes and not bankrupt myself.

But apparently that is too much to ask because the store itself is a labyrinth. First of all I had to go up FIVE floors just to find a sign that said Women's shoes, and then once I was on that floor, couldn't find them. I walked around for about twenty minutes until I began to fear that I was about to be devoured by the Minitour living in the maze's center when I finally decided to give it up.

If I designed a department store it would have a logic to it.

Shoes: Ground Floor.
Then pants, shirts, cosmetics and a special penthouse level for hats. Start from the bottom and work your way up.

I'll get my sandals at the Macy's in Flushing, which like most things in my neighborhood, is as if someone took the city version, shrank it down to about a fifth of the size and crammed a bunch of Asian people in it.

Yeah. I'm in a good mood today.

Close shave...

2010-07-23T13:33:00.000-07:00

So I was on my YouTube page the other night and I decided to take down that video I made as part of my submission to that reality show, Center Stage. (See previous post: "When people stop being polite...")

I just figured, that was early June, and I haven't heard anything, so I took it down.

And yesterday, the day AFTER I did this, I got an email from the woman in charge of casting, asking me why the video was taken down!

Meeeeeep!

I fixed it, and put it back up, but sheesh. If she hadn't been nice enough to let me know, I could have really screwed myself.

Note to self: Throw out old issues of Backstage, and clothing you haven't work since college. Anything that might get you a job, no matter how unlikely you may think it, keep around.

Okay Theatre Gods, let's turn this mutha out!

2010-07-21T18:36:00.000-07:00

Have spent the last three hours submitting my resume, typing up cover letters and such.

Happy to be going to DC so that I can get back and start auditioning again. Going out of town kind of sucks when you're unsure how long you'll be out of town for. Now happily I know when I'm getting back and can schedule all sorts of lovely auditions.

Now all I need is some good mojo.

Had WAY too much coffee today, side note.

Hope to be coming down from this soon, as it is already 9:30 at night and I don't want another night of staring at the ceiling until 5am.

2010-07-20T19:19:00.000-07:00

Hey.

Hey you.

Yeah, you.

Go see Inception.

Immediately.

Tiny Office...Beeeeeeeeeg Show

2010-07-07T22:50:00.000-07:00

My best friend and college roommate Jen works as the Executive Assistant to this theatre company called JARADOA Theater . The name stands for Just A Room Full of Artists Doing Outreach And Theater.

Their latest show, "I'll Be Damned" just opened at the Vineyard Theatre. I got to see it on Tuesday night, and I've got to say, it wasn't what I was expecting, which is to say it completely impressed me. I don't want this to sound too much like a review, because I wasn't really looking with a critical eye. I was there to enjoy, and I did.

Up until this moment my entire impression of Jaradoa has been of their office, which like most New York City office space, is pretty tiny. It could fit inside the bathroom of the house I grew up in, in Queens, and every time I'm there it is inhabited by only Jen, her boss April, and maybe an intern. In truth, if all three of those people were in the office at the same time, I probably wouldn't fit.

But from this teeny tiny office has come a truly great production. It's a new musical about a geeky, home schooled boy named Louis who agrees to sell his soul to the devil in exchange for Satan finding him a friend. And when almost every play, musical, movie and television show out there seems to revolve around some forbidden (and more often lately, supernatural) love story, I thought it absolutely refreshing that this musical was about something so simple and easy to relate to as just wanting one true friend. Someone who likes you for who you really are.

We've all been (or felt like) that lonely kid at one point in our lives. Louis sketches comic books, some of us write short stories, or have elaborate fantasies, but it's all to the same end: Imagining ourselves as well-liked and popular. It was a sweet story, mostly funny but with some really poignant moments as well.

The performances were really strong as well. Mary Testa was fantastic, as expected. She made some comedic choices that I thought were truly brilliant, and I was always engaged when she was onstage. And then she was able to completely flip her character on her ear and have some moments of real depth and sincerity as well, particularly in the song "Mother's Day."

Jacob Hoffman played Louis, leaving me pretty baffled as to how this kid could have no friends when I fell immediately in love with him. He found a really nice balance between the stereotypical pop-culture "nerdy-kid-who-turns-out-to-be-cool," and the actual, real-life weird kind that we all went to school with. The one who wore sweatpants every day.

And of course, guaranteed to be one of the more bad-ass performances was Satan, played by Kurt Robbins. Is it wrong to be rooting for the devil? Is that a bad thing? Because that's exactly what happened. One of my favorite parts of the show was the song "Alone," in which Satan describes what Hell is like to Louis.

Also, Andrea Varga put him in some very tight pants.

This whole thing has left me with a pretty strong desire to become more involved with Jaradoa, which I would recommend to anyone else reading this. In addition to productions, they do several after-school programs, teaching literacy and also working with teenagers who have been convicted of felonies.

Seriously, if I had any money, I would give it to them.

I'm Pretty Sure I Didn't Suck...

2010-07-06T11:50:00.000-07:00

I watched the movie "Funny People" right before I made that last post and apparently when referring to stand-up comedy, the real pros use the term "going up." Hence my brilliant usage of insider terms.

So I "went up" at the Brew House on Wednesday. It was a pretty small crowd, but we're attributing that to the Fourth of July weekend that we've all just recovered from. It was mainly made up of the other comedians who were performing that night, which gave the whole thing an interesting, work-shop kind of feeling.

Okay so, self-assessment of performance Wednesday night:

My stand-up comedy at the moment reminds me of when I first started auditioning for musicals. I would walk out of the room and it was like I had just blacked out for the past two and a half minutes. I dimly remembered placing a binder full of sheet music on top of a piano, and then it was all just a blur. And once it's over I have absolutely no idea if I was good or not, all I know is I'm not having rocks thrown at me by outraged spectators.

It didn't help that it was a quiet crowd. I mean, obviously. If there's only ten people, you don't want to be the jackass who laughs the loudest, so small crowds tend to be quieter. But I was totally doing that "comedian talks too loud because they anticipate that they'll have to talk over riotous laughter that it not there" thing.

I still get very nervous. So I just power through it like a speech at my cousin's wedding and then get off stage as fast as possible.

The other comics performing at this thing had a lot more experience than I do, and they were all very relaxed, and you could see that they were really absorbing the reaction that the audience was having to their jokes. That's what I have to work on, I think. Really being there in the moment.

And being funny.

Reactions from others:

Jesse told me any time I wanted to do the show, to just let him know. So that's a sign that I did not blow. Was "Friended" on Facebook by two of the other comedians, so also a good sign. And when another of the comics was leaving, he said "good set" to me. And when I sat through a twenty-minute train wreck that (lucky me) came right before I went on at my first stand-up gig, I did not say "good set" to her when leaving the venue.

I said, "get home safe."

In other words, "I hope you're not jumped on the way to the Subway by one of the people who just paid ten dollars and bought a minimum of two drinks to have you suck a portion of their soul out through their eyeballs."

So I think we can count last Wednesday, if not as a victory, then as a positive step in the direction of success.

Go me.

In other news, spent Saturday morning shooting a small role in the latest film of director Louis Levy, with whom I did "Slice of Life" last year.

Still having trouble with my website, but I finally swallowed my pride and asked for directions at the nearest gas station (aka: Emailed the tech support team) so hopefully it'll be back on track before I'm reduced to joining AngelFire.

Old school.

Brew House Comedy

2010-06-30T14:35:00.001-07:00

Going up at the Astoria Brew House tonight at 8pm! The show is free, so come on down.

For reservations call (718) 728-0050

Take the N or W to 30th Ave
2850 31st St

Dear Network Solutions...

2010-06-28T22:37:00.000-07:00

Why will you not upload the new index page I just edited with the link to the Slice of Life video?

Every time I open it on my computer, the links and texts are updated.

And yet, though I am clearly uploading the new file, my homepage remains the same.

Why must you suck balls?

Does this have anything to do with one of the several emails about changes to my Network Solutions account that my Dad forwarded me that I never read?

Hmm.

Probably.

Way to suck balls, Network Solutions.

Here's the link to the video, by the way.

Sigh...

2010-06-23T12:57:00.000-07:00

Though it is exciting that my job is giving me a paid trip to Washington D.C. in July, this has resulted in the most boring month ever. Every audition I've checked out has rehearsed or shot or performed in July, and since I still don't know the exact dates I'll be gone, I haven't auditioned.

So I've been very bored.

On the upside though, I will be squeezing in a short film with Louis Levy, the director I did "A Slice of Life" with last year.

And more good news, I'll be doing stand-up next Wednesday the 30th in Astoria. Look for more info soon!

Nostalgia...

2010-06-18T00:09:00.000-07:00

Last night was my High School Drama teacher, Gloria Piraino's retirement party.

It was a really amazing night. They gave us the option to do a speech or perform, so a bunch of us got together to write a little skit for her. I got to see my old friends from High School, Erica and Liz, who I haven't seen in forever, and Jessica, who was basically one of my best friends. And of course Jeff, who I'm ashamed to say I hadn't hung out with in almost a year.

What made me happiest was that, though we'd all changed (Liz is MARRIED) we still got along so well. We had one meeting at Erica's parents house, and I swear it was like no time had passed.

But not in a sad, I'm-Still-Stuck-in-High-School way. Because that would be bad.

We wrote a skit with songs from Guys and Dolls, and A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum, which were the two main shows we did with her in our years at Cardozo HS.

When we got there, I'm not going to lie, it was weird. I don't remember too much from High School. I didn't really come into my own until college, so High School just didn't hold as many unforgettable experiences for me as it might have for others. In fact, there are maybe three or four teachers that I can really remember from High School as having an impact on me. Ms. Piraino is definitely the top of the heap.

So I knew when we walked into the room, there would be teachers there that I had, but would not remember. I took solace in the fact that they would certainly not remember me. And during cocktail hour I did sit at a table adjacent to two of my old English teachers, and it still took me twenty minutes to remember their names.

But seeing Gloria (still feels weird to call her that) made up for any awkwardness. There were a couple of photo collages up for people to look at in the room where we were having dinner, and there were a bunch of pictures of us. The bulletin board said "Drama Club: The Golden Years," and there were photos from Guys and Dolls, and from events we had, a nice shot of me and Jeff smooching as Sarah Brown and Sky Masterson, and a huge photo of me in my prom dress (which was a belly dancer costume) with the heading "the original Michele." For which she must be punished.

But seriously, that was really something. I mean, we always joked that we were a high point for the Cardozo Drama Club, but we were just playing around. To see our class actually referred to as "the golden years" really meant a lot.

We did our skit, and tried very hard to keep it up and happy, and I made it through my whole Individual Thanks segment without crying, but I was tearing up at the end.

No matter how much training I receive or what kind of technique I learn, Gloria Piraino was the first person who ever told me that I was talented, who gave me a place to really be who I was. I don't think I really realized how much of an impact she really had on me until I was in a room full of teachers from my High School and she was the only one I had actual memories of.

When I hugged her after our performance she told me how proud she was of me, and more than anything I am so happy that I make her proud. I think I'll be totally happy no matter what I end up doing with my career as long as ten years down the road, I'm still making her proud.

When people stop being polite...

2010-06-07T22:23:00.000-07:00

So there's this video I put up on my YouTube page a few days ago. I didn't post an announcement of it because it's an audition tape for a new documentary/reality series. The submission guidelines were to upload the video to YouTube and post the link in an email to the casting director.

So naturally I've been keeping it very hush-hush because I wanted to covertly check how many views it's been getting in order to gauge whether or not it's been watched by various producers, etc. I'm sure my parents have already seen it, since they seem to have a google alert on any website that may have anything to do with me. (Kind of cool, my mom managed to find a review of Poppycock before the artistic director of No Tea Productions) So I'll subtract maybe 5 views to count for them, and for the one time I watched it after it was posted.

In the two days since I last checked, it's gone from 7 veiws to 22.

Good sign, right?

As I'm posting about it now, I'm not going to judge anything by the subsequent number of views it gets, so go check it out if you want.

But for shiz, I am SERIOUSLY hoping something comes of this. I would be awesome on a show like this. Seriously, since the days of watching America's Next Top Model with Cate Fricke at 58 Main Street, I have been dying to show my stuff on one of these reality dramas. And there would be all sorts of Tom-Foolery, that's for certain.

Why, just get a load of this sweet action:

That's me climbing a fence in a dress in the dead of night.

And there's more where that came from.

So, producers of this docu-real-life-TV-type program (you know who you are), if you're reading this... well... I don't want to come on too strong.

But cast me.

Seriously.

If I could find that clip from that one episode of Grey's Anatomy where Meredith is telling Derek Shepard "Pick me" with tears in her eyes, I would totally put it here, but I don't know how to upload videos to this blog.

Also there's some copyright issues.

Pick me.

2010-06-03T14:32:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, when you have a blog, you have to be careful of what you say, so as not to offend anyone who might be reading it.

So let's just say that the show mentioned in a previous entry, "Sex, Relationships and Sometimes Love," did not work out.

Not doing to show was my decision, so it's cool.

What DID go well however, was the second performance of Laugh Until it Hurts.

Mark my words, you will be seeing a lot more stand-up comedy from me. I think this is definitely what I want to do with my life as far as performing.

Laugh Until It Hurts Two!

2010-05-21T15:38:00.000-07:00

I go on at ten pm tonight at the Producer's Club on 44th street between 8th and 9th!

If you're in the area come check it out, or come for drinks at the Irish Rogue afterwards!

"Sex, Relationships and Sometimes Love"

2010-05-11T08:54:00.000-07:00

Well, that sounds like the title to a very depressing blog entry, but actually this is going to be a very happy one, because "Sex, Relationships and Sometimes Love" is the title of the play that I just got into.

The audition was like a Pizza Hut express. I did my sassy black woman monologue yesterday and was immediately given a callback, and then today I got there and chose a different piece to do, since I wanted to show them some range. When I got in the room I got exactly one line out before the casting director stopped me.

He gave me a different monologue which he described as "over the top." And of this monologue I did three lines. And then I was cast in the show.

I'm guessing it's a very large cast, since it appears to be a collection of monologues, which would explain the speedy audition procedures. Rehearsals start this Thursday at 9am (yikes) and they're only during the day, which is actually perfect for me since I work at night.

So yeah. I'm going to go get a bagel. And then probably take a nap.

Audition Log 5/10/10

2010-05-10T08:57:00.000-07:00

By the time I got to the audition, all the good sides had been taken. The only one left was clearly written for a sassy black woman, with plenty of "Honey"s and "oh no you don't"s.

And for a second, I actually hesitated.

I was like, I'm going to look like an asshole if I go in there and do this like a sassy black woman. It would be different if these people knew me, or had ever met me before. But out of context they're going to think I'm a racist.

And then I said "Fuck that, I'll never see these people again in my life," and went in there and did my best sassy black lady.

And I got a callback tomorrow morning!

The director even said, "Perfect, that's exactly how that's supposed to be performed."

I even capped it off with a finger snap at the end.

Balls out.

2010-05-06T11:33:00.000-07:00

Hopefully the post-show depression that set in as soon as Poppycock closed will be alleviated by the rockin' cast party we're going to have tomorrow night.

I've already had my few days of sleeping until 3pm to recuperate from the constant stress of work, performing in a show and taking my Improv class with UCB, and now that all but one of those things are over, I find myself extremely bored pretty much all of the time.

I'm trying to get a second job, not just to keep me busy, but also because I had to cut down my hours at work while I was doing Poppycock, ans completely spent all the money I had saved for my potential move to L.A.

So there goes THAT plan.

But in the wake of a successful show, plus my new-found love of stand-up comedy, I'm thinking it might behoove me to stay in New York for a while.

I don't know how to spell behoove.

I think that much is obvious.

How about the Poppy Stop?

2010-04-16T12:41:00.000-07:00

Week Two of Poppycock has kicked off with a bang!

We've already gotten one review, extremely positive.

This show has been incredible as far as my growth as an actor. I've always been pretty horrible at keeping a straight face, and this show requires quite the deadpan. I do crack occasionally, but I always feel really bad about it afterwards.

Ultimately though, the thing I'm happiest about is forming a relationship with the company. I hope I get to work with them again.

In the meantime though, all my friends appear to be waiting for the final weekend to come and see my show. Which means it;s going to be a knock-down, drag-out fight for tickets. Silly friends.

On the agenda now: A shower, a massive cup of coffee, and on to continue the second weekend of Poppycock!

Opening Night!

2010-04-09T12:59:00.000-07:00

Hooray! Poppycock opened last night to an almost full house and a great reaction!

The audience was really great and receptive, it was so strange to hear people actually laughing at the jokes. I was reminded of jokes that I'd forgotten about.

But I've got to say, having an audience react to my character completely changed my entire perception of what I'm doing onstage. I'm just not used to being the straight-man I guess. I'm a ham, I like to get the laughs. But the places I thought were going to be funny kind of fell flat, whereas the lines I delivered more simply were well-received. It just really drove home that I need to stop looking for the laughs and just let them happen.

There are some pictures up on No Tea's website, so check them out!

And tickets are still available for the rest of the run!

In other words I've finally started looking at new auditions. I'm not the kind of person who never stops looking for stuff. Now that the show is actually running and the end is in sight, I'm starting to think, "hmm...now what?"

I have an audition tomorrow for a sketch comedy show. And I have one minute to bring "my comedy A-game." Still not quite sure what that entails, but I'll figure it out.

Probably.

Ode to the Duane Reade down the block from my apartment...

2010-03-31T10:07:00.000-07:00

Ode To The Duane Reade That Just Opened Down the Block From My Apartment:

You are far superior to the Duane Reade four blocks away from my apartment
And the Duane Reade one slightly longer block away from my apartment.
For being three times bigger than any of the others.
For having a sea-salt body scrub.
For carrying the garlic and herb cous-cous that got me through college
And the French Onion Dip that gets me through Lost
For having actually healthy foods in your vast grocery section
In addition to Easy Mac and Mama Celeste's pizza for one
For having Skim Plus milk
And cookie dough
And a free re-usable shopping bag with any purchase

But seriously, why did it take me 20 minutes to find the isle with the cat food?

What's the deal with airline food?

2010-03-28T22:17:00.000-07:00

When someone asks you, "How was your night?" how to you convey in one simple sentence the fact that you've just had the greatest night of your life?

My stand-up debut was a great success, mostly due to all the wonderful friends who came out and supported me. About a third of the audience was there for me, and they did a great job being the most wonderful audience ever.

I'm not the only person in the show who was doing stand-up for the first time, so that calmed my nerves a bit. And I decided not really to worry about the twenty minute thing. I ended up doing only about ten, but I forgot about a chunk in the middle. If I'd remembered, it only would have been about twelve of thirteen. But the people who did go twenty minutes (or more) did seem to be talking for a VERY long time.

Now that I've done it, I'm completely in love with it. I'm definitely going to be doing it again.

And luckily, my lovely parents videotaped it upon my request, so the video will be posted soon.

You will be designing a 13th look...

2010-03-26T11:29:00.000-07:00

I just met with one of the guys in charge of "Laugh Till It Hurts," which is the show I'm doing stand-up comedy in on Sunday. I had to drop off their portion of my ticket money, and take care of some legal stuff, like signing a waver just in case they film any part of it. That's fine with me, I'm hoping one of my friends will record my set with my camera so I can put it up on my YouTube page.

He also took me through the order of the performers and I've found out that I'm going third, out of a group of five comedians. Which I guess I'm okay with, since I'm a little unsure of how successful I'm going to be. I'm pretty sure the other four comics in the show actually have experience with stand-up comedy, so it stands to reason they'd want to stick me in the middle, since this is my first time.

And then I looked a little closer at the paper, to where it said, "Michele McNally, 7:45-8:05"

That's twenty minutes.

Twenty minutes.

Not seven to ten.

Which is what I prepared.

That's TWICE as much.

So now, Project Runway style, just when you thought you'd have the second day of the challenge to hem your skirt and fix your closures, Tim Gunn tells you you have to design a second look using only the scraps of fabric you have left over.

I'm working tonight and a double tomorrow, so basically I have a brief amount of time tonight and Sunday morning to find ten more minutes of material.

Something funny had better happen to me tonight.

Basically, I think this just means I have to revamp my approach. Twenty minutes is a very long time. I think what I have to do, (and this is also advice from the great Cate Fricke, who I called immediately, freaking out) is incorporate more of a performance. Something that's not necessarily the traditional, "Hey, who's from Long Island?" stand-up. Like the kind of stuff I used to do for Midnight Theatre in college. The problem is, I'm a little out of practice.

Thankfully, I've stacked the audience with my friends who will hopefully be drunk. So I guess it will be more like college than I'd originally thought.

Make it work.

2010-03-25T11:27:00.000-07:00

Well, it's Thursday. The days before my stand-up comedy debut are looming fewer and fewer. And surprisingly the terror is starting to subside.

Probably because I actually wrote some material.

So good for me.

The upside is, I've sold almost all my tickets, and there are a lot of other people who are coming as well. So the pressure is really on. But as long as people are drunk, it's not really going to make a difference.

So if you're reading this, and you're coming to my show, be drunk. Be very drunk.

Ooh, a free moment of my life that is not being spent sleeping...

2010-03-15T14:21:00.000-07:00

If my rehearsal tonight hadn't been canceled, I probably would not have the time to blog right now.

My life is awesome right now. Rehearsals, class, friends, coffee, and Newsies on DVD. What more could a girl want?

Got myself a free wig the other day, when I went to go do reshoots for "Slice of Life." Luckily my haircut was not so drastic as to actually need to use it, but I got to take it home. It's long and black and I call it Megan Fox.

Rehearsals for Poppycock are going quite well. Still at the stage where I don't know my lines yet, which is frustrating because I have a very physical role, and I hate having to have the script in my hands. But I absolutely love going to rehearsal. All the No Tea people are really cool and seem to have their shit together.

Also looming somewhat ominously in the distance is my evening of stand-up comedy. I'm waffling back and forth right now between actually crafting a traditional stand-up routine with written jokes, punchlines, that sort of thing, or maybe doing some kind of comedic performance piece. Seven to Ten minutes is a very long time.

Whatever happens, I hope all my friends come, preferably drunk, and laugh at me. Or with me. Or whatever, as long as there's not total silence or an air of judgement. Or if there is, it had better be a funny air of judgement.

I'm on vocal rest until rehearsal tomorrow, because I lost my voice over the weekend, which I'm sure made the voice-over I recorded yesterday for Poppycock a hell of a lot more interesting. So I have a big night planned. Gonna catch up on the DVR and drink some tea. Maybe watch some stand-up, take some notes, steal some jokes.

2010-03-01T06:12:00.000-08:00

Is it Tuesday yet? I want to be in rehearsal NOW!

I've just taken stock of what my life is going to be like for the next two months. Rehearsal Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Improv class Wednesday, and every other day I'm going to need to be at work.

I have to give my manager my new availability today and get a new work schedule.

I'm not going to have any free time. The only night I'm going to have off is going to be Wednesday since class ends at six, but since I'm required to see improv shows at UCB in order to advance to the next level, I'm sure that's what I'll be doing on those nights.

Oh for the days when I will be getting paid to do theatre, and don't have to keep a survival job. Oh for the days.

Is it Tuesday yet?

Audition Log 2/27/10

2010-02-28T11:57:00.000-08:00

I don't know if this happens to you, but this is what typically happens to me: I'll have like two or three weeks where it seems like nothing is going right. I can't get a job, I can't get a role, there are no auditions, I lose my MetroCard, etc.

And then, one good thing will happen, and then like twenty good things will happen, and I'll have two or three weeks of awesome times. It's like my career is bi-polar.

Well we're in a good stretch, I think.

I got inspired the other day, and went on Backstage and NYCastings and submitted for a whole mess of things, and booked a whole bunch of auditions for the upcoming week, the first of which happened yesterday.

It was for a new original comedy called "Poppycock." It was advertised as a "screwball comedy" and from the scenes that I read it has a very old Hollywood, Clue, Noises-Off kind of feel to it. I got the sides on Thursday for two characters, Poppy (the play's namesake) and Bianca (the ingenue).

It's really well-written, which is the most exciting part. A lot of times when you get your hands on an original play, it's no secret why it hasn't been published yet. But this one was really funny, and I was really excited about the audition.

When I went in they seemed really nice and they were really receptive to me. After I read the two scenes that they'd given me, they also gave me a couple more scenes to read, and I did those as well.

It was, in short, a really good audition, and I left for work that day feeling like things were looking up. One good audition would lead to another good audition, and another, and maybe eventually to a job.

It was a busy Saturday night, so though I got a call on my cell phone at 6:30, I couldn't actually check my voicemail until about 9:30, when I finally took my break. It was Lindsay, the producer asking me to call her.

And remember when I said that one good thing happens, and then a whole bunch of good things happen?

I GOT THE PART!

I'm going to play Poppy! The show is in April, and rehearsals start immediately. We're having out first rehearsal on Tuesday. This is really exciting, because I've been focusing so much on film lately, I haven't actually been in a full-length play in almost two years. Not since "Cherry Smoke" and that was only a staged reading.

It's running three weekends in April and it is going to ROCK.

Stay tuned.

2010-02-26T15:30:00.000-08:00

Sitting on my couch watching "Band of Brothers" is looking like the ideal activity for today.

Now the only thing I have to decide is sushi or pizza?

I just got an email from someone who clearly thought I was a man, asking me to audition for the role of "Frank."

Nice.

It Hurts...

2010-02-25T03:28:00.000-08:00

So funny story: There are 28 days in February.

That means that February is exactly four weeks long.

That means that the days in March are the same as the days in February.

That means when they told me my stand-up show would be on "Sunday the 28th," they actually meant Sunday, March 28th.

That means I'm an idiot.

My bad.

Laugh Until it Hurts Part Three

2010-02-23T11:02:00.000-08:00

Well...

I got the job. Or, I booked the gig, or whatever the lingo is now that I'm a Big-Time Stand Up Comedian.

This whole thing is happening in a whirlwind. I found out at the audition that I got into the show, and the show is on Sunday. THIS Sunday. Meep.

I get to do seven to ten minutes of material, whatever I want. I don't have to include the material I used for my audition. Basically, they trust me to be funny. I have to get ten people to come, but that shouldn't be too much of a trouble. I already told a few people about it and they seem very excited to see me make an ass out of myself.

Speaking of being excited, I totally am! But I'm also really, really freaked out. I'm glad it's only on Sunday and not in like, a month or something. I can't imagine having to lie in bed picturing my failure for the next four weeks. Which I have been doing, because apparently Stand Up comedy scares the goop out of me.

I worked last night and I'm working tonight, so Wednesday is my day to sit down with a pen and paper and put together an act.

I'm thinking there will be much watching of old SNL skits on hulu in order to get me in the mood to be funny.

Balls to the wall.

Laugh Until it Hurts part two

2010-02-19T14:07:00.000-08:00

The stand-up comedy audition is tomorrow, and I think I've come to a place where I'm comfortable with what I'm doing.

It's just like another monologue, except this time the monologue is as a stand up comedian.

No reason to panic.

But... it did yield some positive results, because I have a new video in honor of my burgeoning stand-up career.

Enjoy

Laugh Until it Hurts...

2010-02-11T15:52:00.000-08:00

If I were to try and count the number of resumes I've sent out in the past month, whether for acting or for a new job, I'd estimate it at about seven million.

But I've gotten a few bites. On Saturday February 20th I apparently have an audition for something called "Laugh Until it Hurts." I read the email very carefully, and no matter how many times I read it, it always seems like they want my to do stand-up for my audition.

After I got the email I went back and checked the audition notice, and the call is for stand-up and improvisers. I apparently only payed attention to the "improvisers" part.

I don't do stand-up. I've never done stand-up. Stand-up frightens me.

So. Saturday, February 20th. I have 9 days to learn how to become a Stand-Up Comedian.

2010-02-09T15:59:00.000-08:00

Am I to understand that it's going to snow for the next two days? Like, for real? Not like that last time they said it was going to snow?

Hey, remember that time I said I'd work a double shift tomorrow? And remember that time I made three appointments on Thursday at different times and all different areas of New York City?

And remember that time I left my snow boots in the coat room at work and they disappeared?

Meep.

Oh Joss Whedon, why did I ever doubt you?

2010-02-08T14:33:00.001-08:00

Having grown up on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I think it's kind of funny that it took me so long to get into Joss Whedon's latest projects.

I heard for years that I "had" to watch Firefly, and when the series was canceled, I did watch the movie, "Serenity," but I didn't actually watch the series until this past December. Needless to say, I LOVED it, and I asked for the DVD set for Christmas, which I received.

But now, I just Netflixed season one of Dollhouse and I frigging LOVED it too.

So now I'm all pissed that it just got canceled.

The next time Joss Whedon has a show, I need to start watching before it gets canceled.

Audition Log 1/26/10

2010-01-28T14:25:00.000-08:00

"The Crucible"
The Gallery Players, Brooklyn

I felt pretty good about this one going in. My fake-uncle (he was the guitarist in my dad's old band, so for all the years I've known him, he's been Uncle John) has worked with them before, so he told me he'd mention my name to the director.

Of course, given the fact that I was one among seven HUNDRED girls who showed up for this audition, I really doubt they would have even remembered my name by the time I walked into the room.

My God there were a lot of girls there.

BUT... I have very long hair, and I did a monologue from Miss Julie, which was totally the kind of strong young woman from yester-year monologue that would put them in mind of Abigail. Cross my fingers.

The way I see it, in all these Theatre Companies that have been operating for years, there are always people who know each other, who have worked together on past productions, who maybe have a little bit of a leg-up at the auditions.

And then one day a show comes along that you're perfect for, and you go to the audition feeling confident that even though the artistic directors claim that they haven't pre-cast, that this role is meant for YOU.

And then, some bitch comes swooping in from out of nowhere and grabs up the perfect role that you've spent the past three years suffering in the chorus line to earn.

The way I see it, I could be that bitch.

Callbacks are Saturday, but just because I haven't heard anything yet doesn't mean I won't.

Audition Log: 1/24/10

2010-01-25T14:38:00.000-08:00

New York Film Academy
"Stockholm Syndrome"

Dear Michele,

Based on the track record you have of great film auditions as opposed to crappy musical theatre auditions, you are supposed to do film.

Do film.

Love,
Michele

Granted 12:30 in the afternoon doesn't sound like a very early morning, but my internal clock has been switched to "nocturnal" for the past few weeks and I haven't been getting to sleep any earlier than 5am no matter what time I actually lay down in the bed.

But I made it to the train with more than enough time to make it to Union Square before my appointment, and unlike the massive brain fart that preceeded last night's audition, I actually had my headshot and resume with me.

So I transfer at Grand Central for the 5 minute ride downtown, and just before I get on the train I happened to check the email the producer sent me the day before.

Be prepared to read from sides. Check. There also may be some improvisation. Check. Have a one to two minute dramatic monologue. Che... guh.

And this is the moment when I realize that I don't have a contemporary dramatic monologue in my repetoire.

Contemporary comedic I have. Classical dramatic I have.

So in the spirit taught to me by the great instructors at the Upright Citizens Brigade, I pulled something straight out of my ass.

Some of the words may have been a little off and I'm pretty sure I combined the beginning of the monologue with the end of the monologue, but I got the spirit of it. And it's a good thing too, because we didn't do scenes and we didn't really improvise. I just did the monologue, and then the director told me a little about the film, gave me an adjustment and I did the beginning of the monologue again.

Phew.

And all in all I think it went really well. I felt good about it.

Audition Log: 1/23/09

2010-01-23T16:25:00.000-08:00

New York Film Academy
"Perfidia"

So not only did I get on the train with seconds to spare before possibly being late for this audition, I realized just as the doors were closing that I, in my infinite wisdom, did not have my portfolio with me.

So headshot, resume...nope, didn't have it.

No time to go back, I was already risking being late, and what was I supposed to do? Not go?

F that.

As it turned out, I was not late. In fact, I walked in a full ten minutes early, and they sent me right in.

And the reaction to my not having a headshot and resume on me?

Meh.

The part is this 1940s lounge singer who accidently kills her boyfriend. Awesome! So they had me sing, and she asked me to imagine my boyfriend lying dead on the ground. Ha ha, it was really fun. I got to sing and cry.

I feel a sense of catharsis.

Aristotle would be proud.

Okay...

2010-01-22T13:28:00.000-08:00

If there were a way to attach a song to a blog entry, the one playing while you read this would be "Lose Yourself" by Eminem.

Or "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus.

Yeah, that's just how I roll.

Well, the Hair thing got me to thinking the past two days. I don't think this whole Equity Call thing is going to work for me.

I mean there's something very noble to the idea that if I show up at 6 in the morning and sit around until all the Equity people are gone, and if I actually get seen and if I'm good enough to totally knock their socks off, I could potentially get a role in a Broadway musical. And I know people who have paid their dues and gone to these calls and gotten remembered by casting directors and eventually end up getting called in for something.

But seriously, sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it to me.

I mean, I don't think the act of auditioning isn't worth it. This is not my final blog announcing my retirement from theatre. I just mean the big ones. The American Idol-esque auditions for the big money shows. Like Hair. The ones that EVERYBODY comes out for. I mean, when 500 girls show up for auditions, you have to wonder just how closely they're even looking at each person.

And when I close my eyes and I picture myself in ten years, in five years, in (God willing) two years, I am not on Broadway. I'm on T.V. or at a movie premiere or at the Golden Globes. That's the fame I'm reaching towards.

And again we come 'round to the idea of L.A.

Balls.

Well, before I pack up my whole life and move to L.A. to pursue a career in film, one thing is for certain. I need a damn fine reel. Which means I need some more film experience. And I need to email some very lazy directors and tell them to pack an envelope full of bubble wrap and send me my DVD. Dangit.

Onward. Ho.

This is not happening.

2010-01-20T23:55:00.000-08:00

Up all night fail.

I can't do this.

F you Hair. I'm not getting in anyway. I'm going to sleep.

2010-01-20T23:14:00.001-08:00

I think the concept of staying up all night for an audition only works if you aren't already exhausted when you get home from work.