To The Celebrities, Writers and Producers I Follow On Twitter, at Whom I Have Tweeted a Link to the "White Thunder" Video:

No matter what I said (in 140 characters or less) to make it seem like I selflessly wanted you to spend a few minutes enjoying a hilarious video for no other reason than to have a good chuckle, I did it so that you would think I was the shit, fly me out to LA and put me on whatever show you are affiliated with.

Your move.

Finally Settling Into My Type

Just got cast in a student film for the Digital Film Academy. The role? Drumroll please….

The funny best friend.

Booyah.

The audition was actually a great ego boost, too. They had seen “How to Give People Your Business Card,” on my Backstage multimedia resume, and decided that I had the exact energy that they wanted. My actually coming in to audition was really more of a formality.

V. exciting. I mentally flash-forwarded to a time in which I am a humongous star, and no longer have to “audition” for things. Instead I’m having meetings, like on Entourage before Vince started his dating-a-porn-star downward spiral. My fictional agent on the phone, driving in a car with the top down, yelling, "Michele McNally doesn't audition. Don't you know who Michele McNally is?"

On a more professional note: After this is shot I should have enough material for a decent reel. So perhaps that fantasy is a little bit closer to reality.

Oh but who shall be my Turtle?

I wish I'd been born in the 40s or 50s...

I just saw a YouTube video of Seth MacFarlane singing "Kids" from Bye, Bye Birdie, and whoever posted the video wrote as the description, "Seth singing as Roger from American Dad."

That makes me feel sad. And kind of old.

New Video!

Yes.

I can't think of a better justification for always having a bottle of white wine in my apartment, if this is what happens when I stay home drinking it.

I have a new video, which can be found right here:

White Thunder

Golden Globes drinking game...

Every time I act out my own acceptance speech, I take a shot.


...

So I just woke up somewhere in New Jersey, wearing a snow-suit and one ballet slipper. Everything is a blur, but I seem to remember Ricky Gervais being kind of a dick, and a lot of people wearing green.

When the SAG awards roll around, I'm thinking sparkling grape juice.

Hopefully the swollen jaw will help them remember me...

I just scheduled an audition for 1:30 on Saturday when I'm having a root canal at 9:30 that morning.

It's actually part two of a root canal I started a few weeks ago. I had her pump me so full of novocaine last time that by the end of it I couldn't open my eye all the way. But that was the procedure in which my dentist actually removed the nerve, so maybe I won't need to use as much this time.

Here's hoping.

Until the day I die...

...this will be the greatest way in which I've ever been asked to audition for something.

"I clicked your headshot on Backstage and spent the next ten minutes laughing my ass off."

Damn it Backstage, why can't you constantly have new auditions every five minutes on the nights when I'm watching TV with a glass of White Zinfandel.

Don't you realize that's how often I'm clicking the refresh button?

2011 is a week old.

So far I've been on two auditions, scheduled three more, been approached by a professional fashion photographer, and set my hair on fire.

Okay, so the last one isn't a professional achievement, but still worth mentioning.

Auditions have been good. The first was for an art house film, and though I didn't get it, the director/writer sent me an email to tell me that I did a good job and that he liked my look, though they decided to go with someone else. It's always a nice little morale boost when people take the time to do that.

The next one was more casual, for a sketch comedy show, and it was one of those Wham-Bam auditions. An hour on the train for a minute and a half in the room. Where the only way you know if you did a good job is through your own self-assessment. And if my judgement isn't clouded by too much delusional confidence, I'd say I did a pretty good job.

The photographer thing happened on Tuesday night, while I was waiting for my friend Mike outside the big McDonald's on 42nd street. We're phone tagging right now, I'm supposed to call him on Monday to talk about doing a shoot.

So all in all, a sweet first week. Although it will be worth a chuckle if I go on all these auditions and the only job I get comes as the result of standing outside of a McDonald's.

Dear Casting Director:

Please use proper spelling/grammar/punctuation/capitalization in you casting notice.

Not doing so makes me worried that your "art" film is actually soft core porn.

Or a trap.

I am not inclined to submit my headshot to either of those things.

That is all.

Professional Resolutions

Aside from "washboard abs" and "learn the Thriller dance," I figure I should have some kind of goals for my career this year.

#1. Do at least one Open Mic a month.
Treat it like a homework assignment. If the end of the month comes and I still haven't gone, then two next month, as a make-up project.

#2. Edit a reel together.
Even if it means writing and producing my own stuff.

#3. Get Representation.
This one may be a little hard. It's tangible on a certain level, but it's also kind of like listing "Fall in love" as a New Year's Resolution. Like...yeah, I'll get right on that.

Speaking of which...